Reply to Advice Needed: parents who both work long hours

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]And when they are both school age it will be infinitely easier. My 7 year old helps so much — folding laundry, tidying up, even cooking and cooking prep. Not to mention all the things he can do for himself.[/quote]

And then when they are slightly older (10-12), they need you around more (even if they don't admit it) and it gets harder again for so many reasons.  You have finite time on earth.  Do you really want to spend every spare second working?  Are you happy?[/quote]

PP here. I’m happy, my hours are totally flexible. I was just responding to OP’s situation because I think people are getting derailed here. For all WOHM the hardest time by far is juggling two kids when the youngest is not yet 4. It does get a lot easier.[/quote]

I'm with you, but there is a prevailing belief on this board that older kids are harder.  I think some people put so much in to those little kid years that they get burnt out, and everything seems hard.  [/quote]
+1

Older kids need *different* things from their parents than younger ones, and they absolutely need parental involvement and supervision.  But they're also in school and (often) activities for much of their time, so the parenting and communication have to become strategic.  You can't check out as a parent of tweens/teens.

That being said, I do think a lot of parents on this board outsource a crap-ton of the child-rearing in the very young years, because you can and then tell yourself they're "too young" to notice/remember/etc. (which is BS, but whatever).  It becomes more obvious when you outsource that much with older kids, e.g., hiring drivers to get your kid places, never showing up at games or recitals, etc.  So, while some parents overdo it at home in the young years and burn out, others overdo it at work and burn out that way.

tl;dr - there are always aspects of parenting that are hard, and no parent, male or female, can "have it all."  I'm playing the long game and treating this as a marathon, so that I can hopefully be as present as my kids need throughout their lives (my oldest is 10, and I also have 8 and 6 year olds; DH and I work FT, but deliberately not in the kinds of "big" jobs OP and her spouse have).[/quote]

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