Reply to Dating a Red Piller

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Where are all these nice guys who can’t get a girl to look at them?

Off of the top of my head, I can think of five single, attractive women in their late twenties who are smart, funny, and have good jobs.  But I can’t think of anyone to set them up with.  [/quote]

This comes up more often in the teen and early 20s. How the red pill folks describe it, this is when women have the most options, are acting on attraction (rather than other motives), and are most interested in sex. The guys they pick at this period in their lives reflect what they truly find attractive in men. [/quote]

So, if a woman in her late twenties is interested in you, but you don’t think she would have been 5-10 years earlier when she had more options (based on YOUR idea of what 22 year old girls are interested in), then you conclude that she doesn’t *really* find you attractive?

This all sounds to me like you are trying to use women to prove something to yourself about what kind of man you are.  Like, “if a woman with a lot of options chooses me, then I must be good enough.*”

*(...and my mom was wrong.)

[/quote]

I think this captures it. A lot of the dysfunction of Red Pill adherents is rooted in insecurity and trying to measure self-worth by the perceived attractiveness and number of women they can have sex with. And it's not the approval of these women they're seeking, particularly, to measure their self-worth. Rather, it's how impressed they think other guys will be by these sexual conquests. [/quote]

And yet it moves.  [/quote]

I mean, there's that too -- whatever these guy's motivations for wanting to have sex with hot 20 somethings, the fact remains that trying to act and look more like Chad Thundercock makes it more likely (than whatever they were doing before they found the Red Pill) that they'll end up having sex with these young women. [/quote]

The problem is still the same though.  
If you believe this stuff, then any woman who loves you as you are now is by definition not good enough and limited in her options.  And at the same time, any woman who loves you only after you have become more like Mr. Thundercock is by definition shallow and not interested in whoever you were before.

So now you are married to a woman that you perceive as either a) not good enough, or b) shallow and somewhat contemptuous of the “real” you.  And yet somehow you think that the sex stops because *she* loses attraction and interest in the relationship.

The sex stops because *you* lose interest in the relationship.  Whether she is a) lacking in options or b) shallow, you stop seeing her as someone worth pursuing.  Yes, you would still have sex with her, but you stop doing all of the other things that make her feel loved and desired...because she isn’t.

The problem with this line of thinking is that it isn’t just the dating advice that your mom would give you:  Clean your car, tuck in your shirt, shower before you leave the house, ask her out if you like her, etc.  Its this whole philosophy that only certain men get girls, and you aren’t (really) one of them, but you can fake it.  [/quote]

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