Reply to dad seeking woman who doesn't have and doesn't want kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Heh, haven't read this whole thread - but back when I was dating, I actually assumed I would marry someone like OP.

I didn't want kids of my own, didn't want to parent full time, but thought I would be a great [b]part time stepmom - like a fun aunt role. [/b]Having kids in my life that I am not primarily responsible for, but that I have a close-ish relationship with.

Anyway too late now because I got married - to someone who doesn't have kids and doesn't want kids - but I can't imagine I am the only one out there. Then again, there are exactly zero people I talked to about this who thought it was either a good idea or really possible once you navigated actual relationships with actual people, so.[/quote]

That’s not how it works. I have a great relationship with my stepson, but he was late teens when his dad and I started dating and in his last year of college when we married. My friends who are married to men with partial custody are not in a fun aunt role. I’d describe it more like the-love-child-of-the-fall-guy-and-a-MMA-referee. None were the OW. All have kids of their own so they are used to parenting. They just get shafted constantly by either their DH or the stepkids. Surprisingly little friction with the moms. One even took my friend’s kids (her XH’s stepkids) horseback riding pre-Covid because they had never been and her own kids hate it. But the stepkids act out even when there’s no need to do so. One flushed another friend’s jewelry out of curiosity. She had pieces from two decades of travel and living abroad that are irreplaceable, but she was expected to accept his apology and let him work it off through chores.[/quote]

I’m a childfree by choice younger wife and [b]my stepsons are older than me[/b]. I personally wouldn’t have married if my husband had young kids still living at home. What this PP said strikes me as truthful about the perception of women who marry someone with kids. You have the responsibility without the authority and I certainly think it’s a lose lose situation for any woman to marry a man with younger kids. [/quote]

Ew.  i actually dated a guy who had a father who was dating women younger than me and I always felt so bad for the women.  I was like "I got the young hot, also wealthy version and you have to sleep with the old, saggy, wrinkly, liver-spotted version for some cash."  Anyway, I guess if you're happy, do you. [/quote]

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