Reply to Does a blended family actually work?

Forum Index » Parenting -- Special Concerns

Reply to "Does a blended family actually work?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s the same poster that constantly interjects about her loser drug addict stepfamily.

Clearly that is not the majority of people’s experiences. Most people don’t choose to marry losers. There is a way for smart, kind, compassionate people to make this work. It takes time, dedication, and a lot of communication, but it’s possible with the right parents. [/quote]

This framing is the issue.  All of the pressure to “make” it work falls on the children. That pressure is unfair and often destructive.[/quote]

I mean, if the children are not on board, they are not smart, not kind, or not compassionate, right?   They probably weren’t dedicated enough.

Don’t you see how this framing denies the children their agency?  What if they don’t want to “make it work?”  Are they not allowed to choose that?  [/quote]

This! Pressure, blame, name-calling, and emotional labor on the kids.  Sorry but it is selfish to demand a lot of your adult children's time and energy be spent on your new step-relatives.

You have the right to date and marry but you don't get to push us around and make demands.  Your new partner and their relatives come AFTER: My kids, my marriage, my other actual parent, my actual siblings, my job, my in-laws, my actual extended family, and my own well-being.  Sometimes there just isn't anything left.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics