Reply to Wife refusing to pitch in with help with aging mother

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Wife refusing to pitch in with help with aging mother "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not your wife’s job. Tell your sister to help hire help. She got thousands in free childcare.[/quote]

Irrelevant. Op needs to do his part and his wife just has to deal with it.  [/quote]

Not when “doing his part” involves putting their children in childcare for 11 hours a day and spending 10K/year of marital funds.

OP’s dad needs a real solution, not a crazy expensive  band aid that puts all the burden on his son and gives his other child a pass.

[/quote]

The laughable thing is that we are expected to believe that a nanny would charge 10K to watch kids a couple of extended afternoons/evenings a week.  It won't cost them anywhere near 10K unless Op and his wife are complete morons with money and easily tricked by evil over charging nannies.

It is inconvenient I'm sure but it also isn't going to be forever.  And, no, Op doesn't get to abdicate his own responsibility to his parents. He needs to do his part, too.  This is not all on his sister.[/quote]

OP’s nanny charges $20/hour. When you’re at the point where kids are in care 11 hours a day - you’re paying overtime. You can argue that you could hire a teen instead. Sure, that’s another transition for the kids and what happens when the teen can’t make it last minute and the nanny made other plans? That’s okay if it’s a date night that you can cancel but what happens when it’s not safe for the grandma to be alone? Part of the reason that people pay for nannies is that they’re reliable. So, let’s take OP at his word about the cost of childcare.

OP is talking about doing this for TWO YEARS! That means an added 10K of childcare expenses per year (20K total) That’s a lot, both financially and time away from his children.

[/quote]

This is not going to last for 2 years.  It is more like 2 nights a week for 2 months (about 8 nights). Possibly a little more, and more possibly less.  Op's dad needs to have the support of his kids to help make some very serious decisions about their mom.  How a wife could be so wrapped up in her own jealousy that she would begrudge her husband the ability to help his own parents at a time like this is just beyond me.  Of course you help your parents.  Good grief.[/quote]

Well, now you’re changing the scenario.

What OP proposed to his wife is that he would do this for 2 years until his dad could retire with a full pension. He said his sister could only fully commit to one (maybe 2) days a week, so he would be covering the remaining days.

OP’s wife is adamantly opposed to his 2 year plan. This fantasy plan where OP only helps for a couple months exists only in PP’s imagination. [/quote]

Right. And Op has been told *repeatedly* that this plan is not going to be happening for two years.  What is happening with his mom is very serious and he and his sister need to support their Dad while he tries to figure out a more permanent arrangement.  Op's wife can stick her attitude where the sun don't shine.  This is not about her right now.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics