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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Glass houses, pp.  You assumed a lot about PP's daughter.  If she was not a good fit where she was invited, then it was wise to move on.  Don't superimpose a judgment that you might have made long ago on her.[/quote]

She's not a victim of bullying mean girle, though. She made a choice. The same "not a good fit" choice the sororities made.[/quote]

You used the quotes for a reason. Because not a good fit is often code for ugly, doesn't dress well enough, etc. I know. I saw it first-hand. So how is that not mean behavior? I won't just say mean girl as fraternities do it too.[/quote]

You can't have it both ways. The "not a good fit" is either code for judgy, mean girl behavior by potential new members and by the sororities or it isn't.

Sororities choose who they want as new members.  They rank women on a lot of criteria - grades, activities, leadership, looks, personality, shared interests.

Potential new members choose groups that they rank on a lot of criteria - campus reputation, looks, personality,shared interests, grades, activities, leadership.

If you view a group turning down a PNM because she's "not a good fit," as mean girl behavior because you interpret lack of fit as "she's too fat or awkward or weird," then you have to concede that potential new members who refuse invitations or drop out because they feel that their remaining choices are "a poor fit" for them is engaged in the exact same behavior.  They're rejecting groups they barely know because they think they are too fat or awkward or weird.

If you think that potential new members are making a good faith effort to find groups where they fit in and will be happy, then you have to concede that sororities are also making a good faith effort to find new members who will fit in and will be happy.   [/quote]

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