Reply to SAHM with kids in school? Dealing with judgement?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]God. The work I do for myself is far more meaningful than the corporation I worked for. It's sad we live in a culture that values money over absolutely everything: over friendship, family, humanism, activism, art and music, being happy or healthy. Some literally value this woman getting a meaningless job to earn pennies when she doesn't need it, even if it made her life shorter or her family more stressed. I hope that woman chokes on her sour grapes.[/quote]

The fact of the matter is that your shelter and food isn't free.  When one adult relies on another to supply that adult's basic needs, judgment comes up.  It has nothing to do with art or music.  I mean you can still have friends and love music and be happy while paying your own bills you know. [/quote]

Of course, shelter and food isn't free. Yet, between a married couple, there is an arrangement where either both WOH and work in the domestic sphere, or one WOH and one SAH, or one WOH and helps around the house as needed and the other SAH and work parttimes, or whatever the hell works for both of them.

If you see marriage as a partnership where people WOH, SAH, WAH, and divvy up everything the best way that works for them, then the food and shelter is also part of the marriage partnership.

[b]As long as people are not asking their neighbors to pay for their food and shelter[/b], I am perfectly ok with couples to work it out the way it works for their relationship and family.

A family has obligation to meet the basic needs of its members. How well they do it, how egalitarian it is - is the minutia I don't care about.  I think adults can work out these details in their own family. [/quote]

The comment above has nothing to do a married couple.  It mentioned money above "absolutely everything: over friendship, family, humanism, activism, art and music, being happy or healthy".  All of these things are equally open to an unmarried person.  So what you (or the person above is saying) is that you should be able to value these things over money - if your spouse agrees.  Otherwise - or if you're single - art, music, humanism or being "happy or healthy" (whatever that is and as if that doesn't require money) can wait. [/quote]

Np so there isn't any situation where we help our neighbors who may be down on their luck and need help with shelter or food?  How about an emergency like hurricane, earthquake etc.   We should have some basic empathy.[/quote]

No. Helping as charity is different that providing for your family and dependents.  You have a choice to help or not help your neighbor. You also have a choice to marry a person who has the same ideas as you about what the roles and divisions of responsibilities will be.  If you have a spouse who does not want to work, you have the choice to divorce them under the rule of law,  With a neighbor there is no such obligation or legal requirement to work collaboratively. What you give  to a neighbor is what you give as charity. To your non-working souse and dependents, you have to give money for meeting basic needs.  This is called alimony and child support if you divorce.

Seriously, are you that feeble minded that this was your response?[/quote]

There was no need to call anyone feeble minded.  Do you feel better after hurling that insult?[/quote]

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