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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was newly pregnant one year during Thanksgiving. We were staying with MIL, but she was not hosting the family feast; nearby SIL was. MIL had no food, no snacks in her house. She normally eats like a bird anyway. We brought a huge pot of soup, so that's all we ate for breakfast and lunch before the evening family gathering. I've never known hunger like that before or since, being in first tri. H and SFIL took the car for most of the day and I was shut up in the house with MIL and no food. MIL eats very little, so she wouldn't understand that a pregnant woman needs a lot more than she does.

Please have mercy on your guests, people you presume to like since you're hosting, and recognize that what fills you does not provide enough nourishment for them. [/quote]

I'm sorry your MIL is a horrible host...but, what? Being pregnant rendered you incapable of ordering Pizza Hut or taking an Uber to the grocery store or CVS?

People, grown-ass adults are responsible for feeding themselves. "Brad, before you and Jane take the car and leave me here, you need to go to the grocery store and get me some food. This is ridiculous."[/quote]

It's not that easy.  When you're out of your element, you don't have the foresight to predict how long DH and FSIL will be gone with the car, how hungry you'll actually get, when the next meal might come.  I've been in the exact situation, and I've waited awkwardly (so as not to offend anyone) thinking "well maybe they'll be home soon" or "oh looks like we'll be eating shortly".  By the time you realize those things are gonna happen, you're starved!!  After that first trip/experience, you gotta wisen up and make your own meal plans.  I will either go out and pick up food or I'll call DH to bring food home.[/quote]

Domino's delivers. [/quote]

I'm the poster with the mom and the brother.  I am laughing my head off imagining my mother's reaction if he ordered a Domino's pizza and brought it into her apartment.  If I bring a bottle of water into her house, I get an entire conversation about how I don't really need to drink that much, and how it was "messing up" her otherwise empty counters..  The other day, I brought some berries as a contribution to dinner, and she asked me many times to make sure that I was taking the left overs with me, because she didn't want them filling up her fridge (note: a full fridge means 2 or 3 things on the same shelf).  I don't have the issue of being starving, because I don't live there, so I just limit myself to short visits, but it's a

The "grab a piece of fruit and go outside" thing wouldn't work, because there is no extra food that is not wine or diet coke.   She goes to the grocery store and buys exactly 21 meals worth of food.  She might have a little extra of a staple like some uncooked rice, or of something that comes in a size that doesn't exactly fit, but not of any of the kind of things you'd grab for a snack without messing up her kitchen. For example, she has a banana for (not with) breakfast every other morning, so she buys either 3 or 4 bananas depending on whether she ate one that morning.  You can't possibly eat one of them, because then she'd have no breakfast!!!!  (Note: she's very active goes all over the place.  She lives within walking distance of several stores that sell bananas.  So, there are some possible solutions to this issue.) [/quote]

It's not that we don't agree that your mom is crazy. She sounds like a nutbag. I'm sure that's hard.

But guess whose decision it is to keep coming back for more? YOURS. YOU are responsible for you. If you choose to accept her "hospitality" and visit her in her home, and play by her rules, that is on YOU. YOU need to own that, and stop complaining about her.

She's in charge of her household, crazy though she may be. If you don't like the way she runs her house, DON'T VISIT. Point blank period. Stay in a hotel and meet her for meals and outings. And if she can't accept that, then why on Earth would you continue contact with such a toxic, controlling, crazy person.

Make your choices, own your choices, live your choices. [/quote]

So, as I've said over and over again, I don't visit long enough for it to be a problem.  I just want to paint a picture so that people who think that this is just normal healthy eating and not getting fat can see how disordered it can be.

But she's also my mother, and I love her.  People who have mental illness, and I'm sure this is what that is, are still family members who people love.  My brother, who comes down and actually stays and puts up with the craziness or finds ways around it, loves her.  He wants to spend a few days to make sure she's OK, and do what sons do.  [/quote]

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