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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - LOL y'all are worked up!  A few clarifications, from myself only (can't speak for others who share some of my perspectives).

- I have NOTHING against large families.  I know plenty, and am close with many.  My issue is with the ones who can't manage the logistics and therefore the kids suffer - missing birthday parties, missing swim practice and therefore getting timed out of meets, etc.  The soccer thing was an example.  Of course, there are smaller families who struggle with this stuff also.  But the larger families I know often blame it on having so many kids.

- I got pregnant twice on the first try and strongly considered a third.  Decided against it ultimately, for a myriad of reasons.  But infertility and/or jealousy (I agree with others - why would anyone be jealous of something they CHOSE not to do and could have done?) weren't factors.

I initially posted this because I feel bad for the kids, who in at least a few families I know like this, are definitely missing out.

Are there other kids who miss out on things?  Of course.  Are there larger families who have it all together and kick ass?  Of course.  Not debating either of those.

Carry on!

[/quote]

You still don't get it, op.

How on earth are you qualified to determine these kids are "missing out"?

Guess what? Sometimes we say we have a conflict with another kid's sport when we decline a birthday invite our kid simply isn't interested in attending. It's a polite way to decline. (Sometimes kids don't want to attend parties for little bullies.)

Sometimes we skip a practice or game...even "the defining ones"...for family events, another game etc. NBD.

As a mother of older kids, I can assure you that there really aren't any defining games or critical birthday parties in the life of an 8 year old. I promise. [/quote]

I always think that part of the reason my friends with large families skip some stuff is that they have older kids along with the younger kids and therefore a different perspective on the “defining soccer game.”  [/quote]

Exactly.[/quote]

Forget the stupid soccer game comment. Imagine you’re the one kid whose parents couldn’t get it together to help with your diorama on science day. Or forgot to print out the lyrics when everyone else knew the class song. It’s not about sports.[/quote]

I'm not convinced that happens.

Gentle tip from a mother of many: you aren't doing your kid a favor by doing his diorama. The teacher knows you did it. My kids are responsible for their own school work. I'm only responsible for purchasing the supplies. Teachers consistently compliment my kid for doing his own projects (and they comment to me as well).

The sports example is legit precisely because most parents realize [b]there is no such thing as a defining swim meet or soccer game[/b]. [/quote]

NP.  Do you not understand that if your kid is the backstroke leg of a medley relay and they don't show up then that relay team can't swim because now they don't have anyone to do backstroke?  Or any other million examples of something like this?  I don't think a soccer game for eight-year olds is going to make a difference in terms of who is going to play for the US in the 2040 Olympics, but I do think it's incredibly rude and disrespectful to sign your kid up for a team and then not make the games because you can't figure out your own logistics.  If you can't commit to it all, then don't send your kid.  And for the record, my kids both participate in individual sports, so they're never been personally put out by someone not showing up, I just think it's rude.[/quote]

I agree completely. My son plays baseball and there was a kid on his team this year who started off showing up although he would frequently be there at the last minute or after the practice or game started. They had RSVP'd yes to the upcoming games and practices on TeamSpan. Once we realized that he (or his parents, I should say) was unreliable, we started putting him later in the lineup because if he wasn't there by the time his spot in the batting order came up then we would have to take the out. Then by the end of the season we would call before each game to see if he was coming and the parents always said yes, but then he would be a no show.

We found out after the final game of the season that the kid was also signed up for a soccer team and because the games and practices conflicted the parents would let him decide at the time which one he'd prefer to attend. So they selfishly had two teams on the hook. It's fine if a kid prefers one or the other, but communicate with coaches so they know whether to expect your kid a lot. It was very frustrating for both the coaches and the players. [/quote]

Sorry, I forgot to include my point that's related to this thread. We've also had kids on the team who come from families of 3 or 4 kids. Attendance has been an issue as well. There have been multiple situations where a kid has shown up very late or not at all because the kid was at a sibling's game and the game went late so the parent couldn't get the kid to their own game on time or at all. Or they didn't check TeamSnap and went to the wrong field and then just gave up because they wouldn't be able to get the kid to the correct field and then also leave to turn around to pick up another sibling from somewhere else or wherever. It's a logistics issue where they make plans and assume all will go smoothly but have no backup plan for if it doesn't. And then the kid and their team have to suffer for it. [/quote]

Yep, I see this happen all the time with families with two kids as well. Nobody should ever have more than one kid and nobody should ever have any other commitment in life lest they let someone down. [/quote]

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