Reply to Alarmingly underweight tween

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "Alarmingly underweight tween"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]OP, I've been following this thread since the start and have mostly stayed out because I have boys who are at the opposite end of the growth spectrum. But I wanted to point out a couple of things that struck me as someone who has had to talk to doctors about exceptional growth in kids:

1) You emphasize that your DD has a genetic propensity for late puberty. That could be a factor for her but genetic propensity does not mean that she is destined to arrive at puberty late. You said that her doctors estimate that she is still years away from puberty; that is highly unusual for an 11 or 12yo girl - it effectively means she is starting puberty after most girls finish. You also mentioned that your DD is several years bone-delayed, which means that the delayed puberty appears to be a function of insufficient calories rather than genetics.

2) Your emphasis on family traits downplayed another important factor - she has an immediate family member who suffered from a life-threatening eating disorder. You mentioned that only a couple of pages into this tread, as an offhand comment (BTW) about why your daughter may be motivated to avoid hospitalization etc. But there are more studies around genetics and eating disorders that show strong correlations between having a family member with an eating disorder and developing one yourself. In other words, the hereditary factor you should be focused on is not late puberty but ED propensity. Your daughter has a higher risk level than many other kids, which means that you need to approach the threat of ED much more seriously.

3) I don't know you, and you've been exceptionally patient in responding to comments here, some of which aren't always gentle. But you need to be aware that your language here seems a bit cavalier in places: the 'dancer's build' comment, repeated comments that this doesn't appear serious and that you're trying to avoid an ED in the future. Your DD has an eating disorder NOW and she doesn't have a dancer's build - she has the build of someone who is not consuming enough calories.

I'm not pointing this out to shame or guilt you or your DD - she has an illness and it's NOT your fault. But kids w/disordered thinking can interpret perfectly reasonable language in ways that are skewed by their illness. You should be very thoughtful and deliberate about what signals you're sending. I have friends whose DD suffered an ED at a very young age and it was surreal to be around them and hear them say things that were so obviously unhelpful to her situation (both parents were into clean eating and would gasp about someone eating half a bagel at brunch.)[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics