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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yeah, what's hard to understand is that you think that 1 parent is absent when there is a big earner?

I think OPs situation sucks.  We all assume she's a big earner because she's a lawyer and she's working until 1 am, but, as I just said above, my DH is a lawyer and doesn't work until 1 am!!  We would not be okay with that lifestyle.

The problem is that you assume a SAH parent and a big earner has 1 absent parent.[/quote]

I do not assume 1 parent is absent. It was stated that 1 parent was absent so she SAH.

Here is the quote...

[i] DH is working all the time.[/i]

I stated that.

[i]Allowing this model to continue is terrible for both the future of our sons and daughters.

Men need to raise their kids and stop using work as an excuse.[/i]

Then somebody posted...
[i]
I think that's easy to say, but sometimes harder to put into practice. [/i]

All I was saying was that kids need 2 parents. I [b]did not[/b] say every single high earner is a neglectful parent. I [b]did not[/b] say all SAH moms have a H that is neglectful.

I said if somebody works all the time (like OP and her H) that [b]BOTH [/b]need to adjust their schedule not just one of them.

My advice to OP is that BOTH of them need to be in their kids lives... do you disagree?
[/quote]

The quote "DH is working all the time" is so vague, and I'm so sorry you took that literally.  If I were to say this (I'm the PP who said DH doesn't work until 1 am and I consider him someone who works long hours and is a big earner, while I SAH) I wouldn't mean working until 1 am every weekday night.  Even at the busiest of times I cannot remember a time when DH didn't stop working from 7:30-8:30 or 9:00 to be with the family, most weekday nights.  If he worked until 1 am it would be exceptional.  It happens, but it would be exceptional.  So I might say, "oh he works all the time," meaning he really can't miss work to take a kid to the doctor or be home for the plumber when the fridge breaks or whatever, plus things have been "extra crazy" if he's working late a couple nights recently.

The last and only time he worked hours that long were when we was a junior associate, and was young, and proving himself (and we didn't have kids).  Sometimes I think big law gets a bad reputation because people LEAVE at that point and think it goes on like that forever, but usually lawyers don't continue to work late into the night all the time as they get more senior.

The point is, you're grabbing hold of these vague statements and taking them very literally.  I don't think the PP who said her H works "all the time" LITERALLY has a husband who is working all the time![/quote]

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