Reply to An explanation and request from a mom of a kid with autism

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Aside from the fact that you're choosing to take a child who g[b]rowls, spits and pushes into a public area near other small children, which is appalling it itself, [/b]I think people are reacting really negatively to your "ignore once" approach.

I know you said that your therapist says to do it, and so you think it's justified, and by now you're probably desperate enough to believe anything, but that doesn't mean that parents at the playground will agree with you and be happy for you to "play" around their kids.

All kids, ESPECIALLY young and/or special needs, need consistency and follow through. That's how they learn. They don't reason things through. They just know that you can't do certain things. Even a dog or a rat can be conditioned to do or not do various things. But conditioning requires consistency.

If your child pushes in front of mine, especially in a dangerous way, and you stand by and say nothing... or if he "growls" at my toddler or baby and you say nothing... or if he spits at/on my child and you say nothing... even if it's part of some big grand plan of yours and you think that you'll probably deal with the behavior the next time it happens, I'm going to be angry.

I'm not a willing participant in your therapy games (that nobody even knows you're playing since we "don't deserve to know"). I'm not waiting around calmly for your kid to do it again before you do something about it.

And you getting angry at me getting angry isn't going to help your son.[/quote]

This is the only post I am going to respond to, but your level of hysterics and hyperbole is just ridiculous. Honestly. This is so over dramatized, which is classic DCUM, but yeah, this is obviously not how it goes or we would probably be looking at anti-psychotic drugs, don't you think? Calm yourself down.

Also, desperate enough to believe anything? There really are times I wish this site was not anonymous. I am an extremely well-educated professional person, I have consulted numerous doctors and experts, and I am not "desperate" or stupid. I also have other children. Is this how you go around in real life, just casting wild aspersions and insults at anyone with different experiences and perspectives than you? That must go well.

We do ABA therapy, we have made enormous amounts of progress, and the behavior I was describing is actually a thing of the past - I was using it as examples of odd and difficult behaviors we have dealt with and extinguished using our crazy ol' plan from numerous trained experts.

I would never let my child hurt another child, and no, he does not spit at other children. he blows raspberries/makes a weird spitting noise when he is extremely agitated. I am not describing it further because what is the point, exactly? But, good idea. You go ahead and get angry at small children and their parents doing the best they can. That says infinitely more about you than it does about me or my child. [/quote]

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