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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here.  DW works privately now and makes a good hourly rate, just doesn't work nearly enough hours.  She either needs to find more clients or get a job working for someone where the hourly rate is less but she works more hours and sees a higher annual income.  And to the PP saying get a higher paying job, even if I did make more, out of principle I believe DW should be working more now that kids are gone from 745-315 every day.  That was what we always said before kids.  To each their own, but I personally don't respect people as much if they aren't contributing, either by working or being s SAH parent to young children.[/quote]

She is contributing.  She's probably doing all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, most of the kids stuff like doctors, activities, and much more.  Its sad you don't appreciate her.  And, she is working and pulling in money.  If she works full time are you going to do all the things she is doing from 7:45-315 - doubtful.[/quote]

Who does all the planning? Who goes grocery shopping and plans the meals? Who takes the initiative to do things like sign the kids up for activities, make doctor's appointments, buy clothes that fit, schedules haircuts, buys birthday presents, pays PTA dues, schedule piano lessons, hires the lawn guy, hires the cleaners, hires the sitters, etc? Do you have the kids' dentists, pediatrician, teachers', school front desk, and kids' friends' parents numbers on your phone? Do you know who to call for emergency carpools? Do you know what size shoes your kids wear?

If you are truly 50-50, then you should be doing all of the above 50-50. Not just carrying out requests, but actively taking the initiative and managing your children's lives. Once you are there, you can ask your wife to up her hours to FT.[/quote]

Let's break this down, like a professional:
Kids activities: 4x year (once a season)
Doctors appts: 4x year (lets say they need follow ups, but probably 1x)
Kids clothes: 4x year (seasonal and that is generous, really back to school is all you need), and has to happen when kids are home so weekend anyway
Schedule haircuts: You schedule a child's haircut???  Hello supercuts, then a movie after on the weekend.
Birthday presents: Amazon
PTA dues: OMFG you are reaching here.  1x year. Paypal.
Schedule  Piano lessons: 1x year
Lawn guy, cleaners: 1x every 3 years (how often do people change their routine?)
Sitters: For middle schoolers???
Phone numbers: Hello iPhone Google and shared contacts.
"Emergency" carpool? For middle schoolers? they probably know which parents to call.
Shoe size: Again MIDDLE SCHOOLERS.

Did you even read the OP?[/quote]

You clearly don't have kids in orthodontics! I work I a small office of women and with six kids in braces, we had about 1 appt every 10 days between us.  We decidesd as a group to tell our DHs to take off to take them  -  so it is more equitable. [/quote]

We picked an orthodontist within walking distance of our house so a parent didn't have to go to all the appointments.[/quote]
Wow, what kind of a parent sends their kid alone to the orthodontist?
Never seen that in the orthos office.
I chose THE BEST orthodontist I could find. It's 50 min each way.
But yeah, my priorities are different.[/quote]

Helicopter parent? We occasionally sent our children to the orthodontist without a parent. If there was a change that needed to be discussed, the assistant called one of the parents right during the appointment. There is no life scenario in which I am driving my children, with their perfectly average crooked teeth, 50 minutes each way every six weeks for two years to an orthodontist. Martyr much?[/quote]

The need for someone to drive 50 minutes to the BEST orthodontist is how the PP justified to her DH that she absolutely could not possible go back to work.  [/quote]

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