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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  I wanted to provide a 6 month update for those of you who followed my story earlier.

Things are actually going very, very well for me.  Weekly therapy has helped me get through the worst of it, and now I'm down to going about once a month.

The kids have struggled, so I'm not going to sugarcoat that.  The youngest refused to talk about or even acknowledge the divorce (he just turned 8), and started exhibiting lots of anger at home and at school.  The older one (he is 10) started having discipline problems in school.  While my STBXH insisted that it was all in my head, I insisted on getting them in to counseling.

During one of the early sessions, the therapist had the younger one draw a picture of his family.  He drew a rocky mountain (which she said is a child's way of depicting lots of instability) with me and himself standing at the top of the mountain holding hands, with rainbows and flowers and big smiles.  Daddy was drawn in black at the bottom of the mountain, laying down with his eyes x'd out, dead.  His brother was half-drawn as an afterthought.  When the therapist showed it to my STBXH and I, you should have seen his face . . . he was like "I don't think it means anything."  It is really hard to see the kids struggling with this, but they have to go through it.  They really do.

On the fear and anger side, things are better for me.  I've learned I can do this on my own - I can cover the mortgage, pay all the bills, run the household, etc., and it's totally fine.  In fact, doing all of this has made me feel so free and unburdened - it's like I'm flying!  I can do this, I really can.

I don't cry very much anymore, but on occasion I'll be triggered by something like the song we played at our wedding, or on Facebook the "memory" feature that shows you things that you posted years ago on any given day.

The STBX isn't doing as well, shockingly.  He's complaining of financial woes, how poor he is now that he's only on a single salary (we are both GS-15s, we make identical salaries, so no sympathy from me).

All in all, things are ok.  I'm ok.  T[b]he kids are going to be ok.[/b]  It isn't the life I imagined, but it is what we have, and it is pretty darn amazing.  [/quote]

They may not be, but who cares as long as you're happy right? I mean you were totally cool with ruining the holidays for them so why  act like you care now. Go You![/quote]

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