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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am the "unqualified to comment" childless poster. If you don't want my opinion stop reading. But I believe that children are supposed to be the fruit of a true love and life partner. They should not be a substitute, or supersede, the marriage of two people who are madly in love. It's just my personal opinion so feel free to discount it. But what I'm saying is ladies, don't use your husband as a vessel for children. The children should be a living symbol of your love for each other, not a substitute. You can value your children and your spouse equally and make both an equal #1 priority. The love may be different but should not be unequal. [/quote]

Also a childless (by choice). You hit the nail on the head. Hubby and I had the children talk long before we got married. I made it clear and upfront that I never wanted kids, and he agreed. If we had wanted kids, I would certainly make time for my husband, and I would expect husband to make time for myself. I feel that people put their kids first too much to the point that they stop having a marriage. If you don't put yourselves first once in awhile, you lose that passion and all the reason you fell in love with your spouse to begin with. [/quote]

This is funny coming from 2 childless posters. Unfortunately, little kids demand that you physically put them first. They need to eat dinner and get bathed and have someone brush their teeth. Given the choice, I would happily choose to sit with my husband and listen to music and drink some wine. However, that's not life with children. And to make that your priority is effed up. [/quote]

Exactly.  And teens can be even more demanding with their emotional issues and anxieties and their activities that take up a huge amount of time, money and energy. [/quote]

Seriously, you childless posters really have no idea what you are talking about.  Of course I married for love. But parenting is so much more demanding than you ever can imagine. You are tired working 40 hours a week and raising kids.  It isn't meant to slight husband but when your kid needs forms signed for school the next day, lunch made and help with an assignment, etc. etc. EACH KID verses sitting down with hubby reading a book over a glass of wine --- which do you think takes a higher priority? And then you get pissed that the tasks could get done in half the time if you just had some help.[/quote]

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