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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Agree with the OP's premise and many of the other people who posted in here. Now that I'm in my mid 30s, I'm seeing a lot of single female friends "settle" for the most convenient guy so they can get to the kids stage of life.

And yes, parenting seems have morphed into this all encompassing affair where the parents neglect the marriage in order to focus intensely on the child. People seem to have a much harder time of letting go here. I work with a lot of Europeans and their mindset about family life seems to be much more balanced - the spouse will ALWAYS be more important than the child.[/quote]

I am a DW. If my DH wants to be put first then he needs to put me first ... by not dumping all the work on me.[/quote]

OMG YES. EXACTLY. [/quote]

I'm the bachelor PP. Here's the thing, and I'm not saying my experience speaks for everyone. But, I would ask the DWs to truly look back at whether husband was really excited about "all the work" stuff. Or, did you push for things to change? In my own experience, I watched past partners (women) simply want to take on more responsibilities than I did. I was content and consistent about who I was and what I wanted from day one. There was another thread on DCUM a few months back where the OP (a DW) was saying women take on more "emotional labor" then men. But, the men in the thread pointed out they didn't care about choosing throw pillows, how perfect the house looked, what color to paint the unfinished office and when to do it, etc. etc. Men are simple creatures and we rarely change from what we want from day 1. [/quote]

Listen, Bucko.  I am a DW and I couldn't give a fuck about throw pillows.  You are pretty daft if you think the emotional labor in a marriage with children is about paint and throw pillows.  Please, please, please remain single.  It is best for everyone.  You need to just have new relationship after new relationship.  You are not built for the day to day of a real marriage. You are too immature.   Unfortunately, so are most men.  We need to change the way we raise you people.[/quote]

Why is your way better? You fancy "more responsibilities" superior? You haven't provided normative, let alone empirical evidence, justifying such a claim. If I could find a woman who would love to build a life together, travel together, save for retirement together, pursue our collective and individual passions together who wouldn't feel the need to turn into Mrs. Doubtfire, I'd be game. I'm super loyal, I'm just not interested in committing into a relationship that involves becoming responsible for 1,000 things that have nothing to do with the person herself. [/quote]

Dude, WTF are you talking about?  Where do you get superior?  I'm talking about day-to-day reality of raising children and maintaining a relationship with your spouse.  It's fucking hard.  Misunderstandings occur.  Everyone has to talk and compromise and realize that what you thought was going to happen when it was just the two of you in those sunny, happy, let's-plan-our-lives days is not always what you get.  Honestly, seriously, no snark at all, based on what you just typed, you need to find a woman who doesn't want any children.  You really have no clue.  People who don't have children never do.  I didn't.  DH and I were just talking about it the other day.  [/quote]

I agree w you and yes I want a woman who doesn't want children. Finding an attractive one who has her career shit together is like trying to find a unicorn. All broads seem to want to breed. Why, I'll never know.[/quote]

Broads?  Dude, there's a reason you are single.  Namely, no woman would willingly take on a complete asshat like you.   :thumbup: [/quote]

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