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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Nothing about the PP's post sounds jealous. Why is so hard to admit some people find a career fulfilling - especially when data shows 80 percent of SAHMs do so because they can't afford childcare? Statistically women who have advanced degrees with high earning husbands chose to stay in the workforce. Average time off is two years away. You can look this up. Not everyone wants to stay at home.

And it is hard to find intellectually challenging volunteer work. There are legal implications to not paying a worker so a lot of companies only accept this type of work for grad school credit. [/quote]

I don't think it is wrong at all to say some people want a fulfilling career, but two parents can not have careers and also raise their kids full time, whether they are young or in school.  There is a choice and it seems like so many woman think they can do both but you can't without sacrificing one or the other every single day.  You are choosing to be with a client instead of at your child's soccer practice.  You are choosing to have a Nanny come take care of your child with a fever because you can't take another sick day.  If you stay home with your child, you miss a meeting that potentially changes your career.  You are stuck in traffic and miss your child's final performance.  When your teen is devastated about their first break-up, you can't console them because you are at a convention for a few days.  Sure, people can say this is life.  The kids should understand.  But most parents don't watch their kids grow up and say "I should have been there less."

I tried to do it.  I had a wonderful job with tons of perks but once I had kids, they became my priority.  I tried to do both but the last straw was pumping in a hotel room by myself on my child's first Halloween. I landed a great client and made a shit load in commission that day but all I cared about was wanting to be with my child.  I am sure there are working moms that wouldn't have cared.   I mean really, my child couldn't even walk yet and wouldn't remember it.  But I would and it bothered me.  And when I tried to go back again a few years later, the juggling between my husband and I and 2 kids took it's toll.  I knew my job was not to work FT.  It was to be a mom FT.  It was the more important job.  We could have made a shit load more money and easily hired a nanny but I wouldn't take any of these years back.  It has been an absolute joy to raise my now 3 kids.  I still work about 10-16 hours a month and make pennies but it keeps my foot in the door and that is the only reason I do it.

This is a great article.....

http://theweek.com/articles/627821/ugly-secret-working-moms[/quote]

I think your post rings true for moms with babies (like your story about pumping in a hotel room), but this thread is about having kids in elementary school.  For many moms (not all), when the kids are in school 5 days a week, the conflict you mentions is less of an issue.  We have a babysitter every day after school for one hour, which allows me to work full-time.  So I'm able to keep doing the work I love and the kids get to spend time with another person who cares for them. The babysitter has been with us for years, and we love her.  This idea that kids have to spend all of their time after school with their mommies is ridiculous.  All over the world and throughout history, women have worked and when they did the kids spent time with family or community members.  This is actually GOOD for kids, to be around other influences, to see that they are not completely dependent on mommy and daddy but can connect with other people.  The idea of not working so that I could have those five extra hours a week with my kids (the time they are with a babysitter until I get home at 4:30) is crazy.  [/quote]

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