Reply to Raising older teens is challenging

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "Raising older teens is challenging"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A good deal of our problems with our teen are really due to DH, who just can't seem to figure out how to communicate with DS--DH is always being snide or judgmental or treating DS in ways he would never treat anyone else, and DS flips his lid. Then DH gets angry. Then later they both complain to me that the other is being a jerk. I am becoming so disgusted with DH. It is so maddening and exhausting that some days I am tempted to tell him just to get out. And the sad part is, we really have a pretty good marriage. Or did.[/quote]

PP, this is my situation. Woke up Sunday morning to DH and 13-year-old arguing!! Horrible day. We had our first "family meeting" over dinner and seems to have helped, but I told the family I can't live this way, with the constant yelling. [/quote]

I highly recommend taking the teen class from either PEP or Dr. Shapiro. (Even though his website is Raising your Challenging Child, it's appropriate for anyone: http://www.raisingyourchallengingchild.com/ - no teen classes listed right now, but sign up for the mailing list). I have done both and they are eye opening. 90% (if not more) of the tone of your relationship with your teen is set by you (and DH) and the way you communicate with him.

If he can't/won't take a class, see if you can get him to read Yes Your Teen is Crazy by Michael Bradley.

If you DS is 13 now, it's only going to get harder. (And he will get bigger. Eventually the yelling may turn physical once they are of equal size. You do not want to go there.)

Good luck.[/quote

This is the pp you responded to. I've taken a course from Shapiro but it was "Raising your challenging child," not teen.  Also have taken lots of PEP classes but haven't been in a few years, so I was looking at the latest mailing thinking it may be time to go back. Will check out the book!

And to the other pp, one of the reasons Sunday was so bad is he refused to go to church. He's in a religious school and says he gets enough church there. :-( He went up till this year, and I hope to get him back, but I hate arguing about church. It also seems so minor when compared to everything else that could go wrong...They need to rebel about something, right? Others say he's a great kid - just not around us. It's like Jekyl and Hyde.  [/quote]

My kid is also Jekyl and Hyde.  Model student and other parents think he is mature and respectful.  At home he can be rude, abrasive, swear at us, etc. and it's awful.  Therapist says that his anxiety keeps him in line outside of the house, but he lets is blow when he is home.  We try not to take it personally, but it is extremely hard when he says FU or something like that. Hardest thing I've ever done actually. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics