Reply to An immigrants musings on the SAHM vs working mom debate

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

I'm from a South Asian family and NO grandmother is 65+ when she has her young grandbabies. Many are in their late forties or early fifties. My own mother has WOH my entire life and she isn't retired yet (my oldest is six) and I think many of our own children aren't going to be able to take for granted our willingness to retire young and take care of their infants.

The second point is accurate. Many families rely on relatives who were "SAH" (not by choice) themselves. They do not understand why anybody would do it because they don't have the same conception of infancy and childhood that has become popular in America, esp. middle and upper class America-- not yet. You don't see women from this particular generation talking infants through diaper changes, reading aloud to them, and participating in their earliest education. Their role is to feed and keep kids alive, in a way. And that sounds unkind, but it used to be a really hard job, and now it's ridiculously easy and you can do it while sitting in front of the TV all day, which is why it's hard to understand what the hell all the well-educated American women are doing choosing to stay at home with their kids.

And it's hard for American women to understand why well-educated South Asian women are willing to leave their kids with uneducated, poorly paid nannies or unpaid relatives, even though it's about exactly the same thing (I think): transmission of cultural values (at rock bottom prices).[/quote]

+1  I think you explained it perfectly - maybe this is the answer that will get through to OP?[/quote]

Okay, well I'm South Asian with a 2 y.o. and another on the way, and my mom just turned 70...so at least some South Asian grandmothers are 65+ when they have young grandkids.  It seems like your post supports OP's POV more than it refutes it, but I posted several pages upthread that I understand at least some of the context OP is getting at and got no responses.[/quote]

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