Reply to An immigrants musings on the SAHM vs working mom debate

Forum Index » Off-Topic

Reply to "An immigrants musings on the SAHM vs working mom debate"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
[/quote]

Um, maybe she had day care or a nanny of any ethnicity, or help from grandparents -- like all of us working moms? Crawl back under your rock, Trump supporter. You dishonor America. [/quote]

Close, except I'm South Asian, liberal, whose parents grew up in a 3rd world village.  I had a SAHM, and she babysat for many working moms of color for extra cash. (So my mom cleaned other kid's poop.) My point is that OP looks down on people who clean babies' poop, but won't tell us who cared for her own babies.  I know her type - and find them condescending and arrogant.   I mentioned the possible nationalities of her nanny (if she had one) because UMC South Asians in this area typically have Southeast Asian nannies.[/quote]

OP here. Most South Asian families that I know where the wife is a doctor, lawyer or a reporter, their mothers live with them and care for the baby. [b]The mothers are super proud of their daughters and help out by making food and taking care of the child. [/b]They don't outsource this unless hiring a weekly house keeper. [/quote]

But, but, then their moms have no dignity and are not contributing to society![/quote]

:shock:

These are older women in their 65+ and are mostly in retirement. Or they are from an older generation where all they knew to do was care for babies and keep the house clean. [/quote]

I'm from a South Asian family and NO grandmother is 65+ when she has her young grandbabies. Many are in their late forties or early fifties. My own mother has WOH my entire life and she isn't retired yet (my oldest is six) and I think many of our own children aren't going to be able to take for granted our willingness to retire young and take care of their infants.

The second point is accurate. Many families rely on relatives who were "SAH" (not by choice) themselves. They do not understand why anybody would do it because they don't have the same conception of infancy and childhood that has become popular in America, esp. middle and upper class America-- not yet. You don't see women from this particular generation talking infants through diaper changes, reading aloud to them, and participating in their earliest education. Their role is to feed and keep kids alive, in a way. And that sounds unkind, but it used to be a really hard job, and now it's ridiculously easy and you can do it while sitting in front of the TV all day, which is why it's hard to understand what the hell all the well-educated American women are doing choosing to stay at home with their kids.

And it's hard for American women to understand why well-educated South Asian women are willing to leave their kids with uneducated, poorly paid nannies or unpaid relatives, even though it's about exactly the same thing (I think): transmission of cultural values (at rock bottom prices).[/quote]

OP here. This is actually true!  Childcare by unpaid relatives in SA households isn't necessarily always very high quality. These grandmothers clothe, bathe and feed the kids but they're not watching them at the park teaching them to socialize, reading to them etc.

Having a well educated sahm could benefit the kids in that she will hopefully know how to care for her kids. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics