Reply to DW has incredibly low sex drive - not sure what can be done to help

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]To 15:30...of course she has to try to find out a happy compromise. She is married to him and I am sure loves him! I'm just saying he needs to change before she can. He needs to rethink how he is approaching things, think about whether what he is offering his wife is appealing to her, rethink his unwillingness to push things and to just accept what has been unsatisfying to him, etc. He needs to shift within himself. He needs to communicate to her that what he misses is not just sex, but feeling wanted, and that he genuinely wants to know her and get closer to her and understand what's going on in her mind. That he's not happy with just going through the motions and that he is not primarily looking for an orgasm, but connection.

When two people are in a stalemate, one person has got to start change happening. I think if there's an unhappy situation, and one person looks deep within themselves and makes hard changes and starts doing things that seemed emotionally risky, the other person will change too. They will have to. [/quote]

It's tough not to project my own situation on to this comment. I've changed a lot of things over the years -- and had the conversation where I explained that it's not just sex that I miss, but being wanted and the emotional connection -- and it hasn't resulted in my wife (who loves me) having more and better sex with me. There are some long-term-relationship doldrums issues, I think; but I strongly suspect the majority of our problems have to do with her body image issues, and other than (truthfully) complimenting her appearance constantly, and showing her I find her sexually attractive, I'm not sure what I can do to help her with those issues. (She says there is nothing I can do on that score.) [/quote]

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