Reply to Would this bother you re: infertility and IL behavior

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[quote=Anonymous]Dear OP, this is a tough one. I can understand your being hurt.  I must admit that I do not understand someone ignoring a child for four years, no matter the reason.  Infertility is not a pass to treat people ill.  If your daughter has not noticed then I think it is completely reasonable move forward and this is what I would do.

I would tell your SIL how happy you are that they are having a baby.  Not that your child is getting a cousin (can you see that is a little self absorbed).  Perhaps intimate that you wish you could have been there for them as they struggled.  Perhaps she will acknowledge her regret for ignoring your child.  Tough times, not great responses all around, put it in the past.  I think it might be nice for both of you to express what has not been expressed. Neither of you were there for the other.  I know you want to blame, but does that really help?

I have tremendous sympathy for her.  I sincerely hope she regrets her behavior.  I hope you can move on.[/quote]

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