Reply to Why do children of a first marriage get priority over the spousal relationship in a second marriage?

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Reply to "Why do children of a first marriage get priority over the spousal relationship in a second marriage?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Seriously? You can't understand why your ex is no longer coming to hang out with you and the kids at your house on Friday nights now that he's in a relationship? If you wanted that you should have stayed married. Divorce means things change and people move on. This doesn't mean he can't still be a great Dad, but it means things will change. Help your kids understand that versus piling on about Dad putting others first.[/quote]

No, I want to be very clear here.  As I said, I encouraged my ex to take the kids to his girlfriend's house where he moved in with her.  If that wasn't good for whatever reason, I encouraged him to take them out to dinner with or without her.  Instead he has chosen simply not to see them on weekend nights.  The only thing I have objected to is when he takes them to her house and then leaves them alone there while he goes out with his girlfriend for the evening.

Of course divorce means change.  Our kids have adjusted to plenty of change.  I don't expect my ex to come over to my house as often as he did previously. In fact, although I am very welcoming to him, I would be happy to see less of him.  I don't actually want him here that often, but I have long recognized that if I didn't facilitate visitation in this way it wouldn't happen or it would happen in an unsafe environment.  ExDH clearly agrees since our arrangement is entirely by mutual consent and he has never filed for more time with the kids.

Remarriage doesn't mean that kids should see their parents less often than they did previously.  That is what is going on here.

While divorce may mean change and "people move on," you can't simply "move on" from your responsibilities to a child.  
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