Reply to S/O Elder care for parents who didn't provide child care

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Reply to "S/O Elder care for parents who didn't provide child care"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You don't owe your parents elder care IN EXCHANGE for them doing your childcare.  You owe it to them because they gave birth to you, wiped your bum when you soiled yourself, got up in the middle of the night for you when you cried, taught you to read and write, held your hand when you crossed the road, helped you take your first step and cared for your every single need at the expense of their own need when you were a child and unable to do anything for yourself.  Your debt to them started accumulating the day you were born and grew with every diaper change.

For all that, I owe it to my parents to take care of them when THEY are no longer able to do things for themselves. [/quote]

Children do not ask to be born into the world- it's ridiculous to say they are born "owing" anyone. Having children is not a retirement plan[/quote]

wow talk about being ungrateful and thankless. I've seen so many threads where DCUM posters will argue they don't owe anything but demand their weddings to be paid for, gifts to be made on house down payments, feel entitled to their parents inheritances and also now child care.[/quote]

Not everybody demands those things. I paid my own way through uni, my now husband and I saved and scrounged for our first home deposit, and have never expected anything from either of our parents. I  worry about my parents and retirement when I see them making stupid financial decisions, and keep making them, despite me quietly giving them advice. So even though they splurge on brand new cars , refinance their house multiple times to fund their multiple European trips and $45,000 online uni courses I'm supposed to suck it up and pay for their retirement? How am I suppose to pay for my childrens education? Is it ungrateful to want to spend my hard earned money on my children's future instead of my parents poorly planned future? I'm in therapy because of the stress it gives me worrying about what they are going to do. In the future. I'll be damnedest my kids are going to sufferand miss out while my parents go on 2 Paris trips in a year to keep up with the jones's [/quote]

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