Reply to Did a 180 and decided to redshirt my child- question for parents who decided to do the same

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Reply to "Did a 180 and decided to redshirt my child- question for parents who decided to do the same"

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[quote=Anonymous]My brother, whose birthday is April 29, repeated kindergarten on the advice of his kindergarten teacher and pediatrician. The district expected rising first graders to have some ability to read, and my brother couldn't. He was also socially immature and a bit withdrawn. My mom thought that he had not coped well with her and my dad's divorce (probably true) and thought that he would do better later with an additional year of kindergarten. It is possible that some of those issues could have been alleviated by him attending any kind of preschool program, but it was expensive in our town and also not the norm for that community. Either way, he was physically larger than many of the other kids in his class, but we never lied about his age or had any issues with birthday parties. I don't know if there were other red-shirted kids in his class. I do think that there were other potential solutions to the issue, and I think that he would probably have caught up with the rest of the class. During his second kindergarten year, he figured out the reading thing and the social skills and did well and continued to do well.

Socially, though, it's kind of a big deal for a kid. You know how kids are. They're blunt and can be jerks about stuff. "How come you're a year older than everyone else?" "I went to kindergarten twice." "YOU GOT HELD BACK??" These are stigmas that we teach them, either subtly or explicitly, and they absolutely come out in kid conversation. I know that my brother felt embarrassed about that in middle school. He graduated from high school a couple weeks after he turned 19, which at that point he considered a plus because the bar entry age in our town was 19 (21 to drink) so he could go to bar shows earlier than many of his friends.

If your child's ADHD diagnosis is based solely on his ability to sit still and follow school rules, you need to expect more from your medical professionals. 5-year-olds are not developmentally ready to sit quietly in a classroom for hours on end. One of the primary things that kindergarten (or whatever the entry year into school is) does is teach children those social skills. They spend the year working on them. Some kids pick it up faster than others.

I think that people like the OP and many other red-shirters forget that the decision to start kindergarten a year late is not just about kindergarten. Children are at various academic levels when they start kindergarten. Those levels do not mean that they are categorically "academically advanced" or "delayed" or that their social skills are permanently immature. [/quote]

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