Reply to Boy slapped my daughter's butt on the walk from school

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I think your daughter should be the one talking to the guidance counselor and someone in a leadership role at school about how to respond to this kind of behavior. It's the right place to start, but I don't know how a school would respond. I know that bullying issues aren't confined to school grounds, so I am sure that they would at least hear your daughter out and talk about options with her.

One thing you need to consider is how certain is she that she can ID the boy himself from a yearbook or social media? If she doesn't know him, and the school is as big as you say, it sounds a little problematic. (Conversely if she is certain about who it is, how hard is it really to find the name and a phone number for the family?)

The other issue that you may find is that right now it's a one-off incident and effectively your daughter's word against some anonymous boy's (I assume he'd deny it.) Realistically it's going to be difficult for a school, much less the police, to enact severe punishments on such a basis.

Finally I would implore you to step back and try to get some perspective. Your daughter has every right to feel upset about what happened to her. But in life, not every wrong has a corresponding punishment.

And even if it did, I don't think you'll find most other parents agree that the appropriate punishment for one 12yo who tapped another 12yo's rear end is suspension or multiple detentions or getting kicked out of band or basketball. Part of education is socialization: just like preschoolers and kindergarteners have to learn not to pummel their tablemates to get the crayon they want, 12yos have to learn how to interact appropriately with the opposite sex.
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School is out for the year. Today was the last day.

I haven't discussed reaction options with my daughter. I was at work today. She doesn't know how I feel about this other than me saying I'm sorry it happened and we would talk more about it tonight. I mostly listened earlier.

I want to notify his parents. I think I've said that at least 10 times already. They can deal with it however they deal with it. I'm not trying to decide on the punishment for the boy. I am also not going to tell her to just suck it up. That's a terrible lesson, and one I will not teach to my child. She reacted appropriately when it happened.[/quote]

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