Reply to How do I deal with this? SN son not invited to party but he thinks he is

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
This thread has been very eye opening.

I now have more sympathy for parents who can't invite everyone and have to deal with the awkwardness of moms who call or e-mail them to ask if they forgot to invite their kid.  Awkward...

I can't really blame them if they don't respond to those phone calls or e-mails because the other parent put them on the spot--even though the inquiring parent emphasizes that they will understand if their kid really wasn't invited.

While it might be OK to double check with friends and family, it is distasteful to poke social acquaintances.[/quote]

This misrepresents the situation here.  This isn't a mom just calling/emailing out of the blue -- this is the result of a child having been told by the birthday girl that he is invited.

Yeah, it's distasteful -- for everyone.  But guess what, sometimes adults have to step up and be adults and deal with situations kids create.  If you don't want to get the occasional call about a situation your kid created, don't have kids.

[b]It's weird that so many people are focused on the host mother's feelings much more than the 6-year-old boy's.  A invitation to a boy can be ignored without consequences, but a mom can't handle a phone call? Good grief.[/b]  [/quote]

Yes this is the issue for me.[b] You want to exclude six year olds from Larla's amazing party, fine be a bitch,[/b] but when Larla invites the unpopular kid herself and creates confusion on her own, [b]it's up to you to put on your big girl panties and explain the lack of invitation.[/b]

[b]I think people are just pushing back against this because if you only exclude a few kids from a six year old's party, it is obvious you are kind of just being a jerk, and people do not like to be confronted out in the open with the fact that they are being jerks. [/b]

There are people on here saying a six year old doesn't have the power to issue an invitation, but to another six year old, they obviously do. Moreover, emails get typed in wrong all the time and as lots of people here have reported, it could just be a legitimate mistake.

My kid was excluded from a K party and I didn't check with the host or make a fuss. [b]But I think all the people crying that the excluding mom can't be asked to answer a simple question -- because it wouldn't be polite!!! -- are just wrong.  Hey if you want to be a bitch over Larla's party, fine, but you're not so above it all that you cannot be asked a simple question. [/b]Sheesh. [/quote]

Who would want the hassle of having to console a parent who disregards party invitation do's and don'ts? [/quote]

Anther party invitation do and don't is that if you're not inviting everyone, instruct your child about the importance of not talking about the party at school.  If your kid can't follow basic party etiquette, your butthurt over having to admit that you are kind of an exclusive bitch is no one's problem but your own. [/quote]

I don't go so far as to assume the host mother is a B---.  She might have perfectly legitimate reasons for limiting the size of the party, none of us know.

But I agree with the thrust of the above post, it's pretty rich to lecture OP on violating party invitation "do's and don'ts" when the host family's child is telling her son he's invited.

Parenting ain't beanbag.  It often involves sorting through awkward situations to do right by children.  In fact, that's a big part of the job.  The idea that a 6-year-old SN boy should have his expectations dashed because a grown woman can't be disturbed with a socially delicate question is just absurd and offensive.[/quote]

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