Reply to Wedding Invitation - "No Boxed Gifts"

Forum Index » Off-Topic

Reply to "Wedding Invitation - "No Boxed Gifts""

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am an Indian who lives in the US. [b]No boxed gifts is standard invitation wording both in India and among Indians living overseas. Cash gifts are absolutely expected at all Indian weddings. People who didn't give gifts are considered extremely rude.[/b] I typically give $150-$200 at weddings, more if we know the couple well or are related to them. For example, we gave $500 to my first cousin who is like a brother to me. We also always give amonts ending in $1 so $151, $201, $501 etc.

[b]For what it's worth, I'm married to a white American and the gifts from my husband's family/friends were cheap and pathetic. His parents, brother, and grandmother did not even bother to give us anything. Many others put $20 bills in cards. Shocking stuff. 
[/b]
For all the American obsession with gifting (mother's day, father's day, Christmas, birthdays, graduation, retirement, the list goes on), I'm fairly surprised expecting cash gifts at weddings is considered tacky. [/quote]

I am a South Asian PP and the comment above is generalization. As I stated in my PP, I have attended numerous weddings in the US where one or both parties at the wedding were South Asian and I have never yet encountered an invitation with a "no boxed gifts" instruction. In every instance there was a wedding registry though as I stated in the PP, some close family members did give cash gifts - sometimes substantial amounts.

Even in India - more specifically in South India where my parents originated - there are absolutely no gifts given by guests other than possibly close family. It is just not the done thing and all that is expected is for guests to come and celebrate the marriage of a son or daughter. I know this for a fact because recently we were in India and attended a wedding. I asked about the procedure for giving a gift and I was told that gift giving is not the norm at weddings there. The wedding invitation did not say anything about gifts. Now in North India, I understand that giving cash gifts is the norm although, again, the invitation does not specify anything about gifts one way or the other.

Even your comment about your husband's family offering "shocking stuff" is a judgement on how you personally perceive wedding gifts. As another South Asian PP stated earlier in the thread the wedding is a celebration and you are not even expected to bring a gift unless you wish to do so. In the South Asian weddings I have attended there are cousins and other family members who literally fly in from India for the occasion and the very act of them making the effort - as well as incurring the expense of coming for the occasion - is viewed as a "gift" and greatly appreciated. I'd look at it the same way if someone traveled cross country to attend a wedding.

Just as there are variations in the US about wedding traditions, there are major variations in India which is even more diverse about how things are done at weddings. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics