Reply to I slept with another man and am consumed with guilt

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[quote=Anonymous]
[b]how is the marriage now?[/[/b]quote]

It survived.  I confessed about four years ago.  Our marriage is different now - stronger in some ways, weaker in others.  I am VERY conscientious now about how I act around other women, and try to be a better husband to make up for it.  BTW I never cheated again after that (once a cheater always a cheater is not always true).  I am not a perfect husband, but I make a hell of a lot more effort now then I did before, partly at least because I still feel so guilty.  I had suppressed the whole event for years and that allowed me to avoid seeing the devastation I caused my wife.  Seeing it was horrible beyond description.  But at least it is in the past.  To the OP, she seems remorseful and that is a good start, she needs to go to therapy by herself and with her husband (if he stays).  Its a bad thing to cheat, made even more so with the lies on top.

Is it more selfish to keep your guilt to yourself?  Is it more selfish to be honest and destroy your SO to lessen your pain?  I don't know what the answer is but is seems that lying about and robbing your spouse of their right to react is just unfair.  IMHO.[/quote]

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