Reply to When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage

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Reply to "When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wrong.  Completely wrong.  Unless at least 5 times a week is "not into sex" (for 40 year olds with kids and 2 serious jobs).  Just because this guy wants to give up on his family, don't pretend that it's impossible to get it back.  It's possible.  Not for everyone, and if he's really trying and she's just not willing to try, then that's very sad.  [/quote]Regardless of age, work, or kids, there is always time for weekly sex. But if this isn't important, then there is always some excuse.

[quote=Anonymous]
But he's not talking about trying therapy, or anything like that.  He's calling her fat and planning to leave her.   That's losery.[/quote]It sounds to me like she really is fat. Sorry if that offends you. Many men (especially those of us who married thin women) are turned off by fat.  She is fat and has no sex drive and this bothers him. Are you seriously surprised at that? Also he has already tried many things and has concluded that she is not reciprocating in his efforts to become close again.

[quote=Anonymous]
"Put on hold" for 2-3 years with young kids?  Not as a policy, no.  But if the 2 kids are born within 2 years, and one of them never sleeps, and one of them has a serious health issue and mom has PPD and also has to go back to work, then, yep, it gets pretty darned infrequent.  No one said it's selfish of a man to desire sex.  It's selfish of him to put that need above all else.  Would you leave the wife because she was too ill to have sex?   That's selfish.  So, she's sleepless and depressed.  That's illness.  Does that mean she shouldn't try to fix it?   Of course not, but you are supposed to be her help-mate.  Help her.  But your easy way around that is blame the mom for not being a good enough mother and selfish?  Really?  That's selfish?  You've clearly never been the primary parent of an infant.  That doesn't even pass the laugh test.  You are so far off in lala land you can't even see the reality.[/quote]
You were the one who said 2-3 years. Whatever issues might be going on in the house, both H and W need to [u]simply deal with it[/u], in such a way that the married couple has some regular time together for intimacy. You seem to have endless excuses, and frankly this excuse making is exactly the problem. If the marriage is important, there is always time for some weekly sex. If the wife's selfish need to be "the perfect mom" is more important than just 30 minutes with her H, well there is always an excuse.
[/quote]

Lol at the OP trying to pretend to be someone else.  Anyway...
Plenty of women are turned off by fat.  In fact, it's much more natural for a women to carry excess fat than a man, and that's a FACT. It's why men can get down to 3% body fat and women will die if they go below 12%.  And yet plenty of men are overweight and women are turned off and we try to be understanding, not to talk shit to other people about it.  A woman is not just your trophy or sex object.  You should be understanding of the HUGE change of pregnancy and not hold it against her.  Additionally, unless you are an Adonis, dont be throwing stones in a glass house.

Husband is the one with the issue. Wife seems to be not bothered with the situation, as far as we know.  Since husband is asking how to change it, HE needs to be practive and take the steps to get her more interested in sex.  I sincerely suggest you- ahem, I mean OP- must be bad in bed, because according to you- I mean, OP- he has literally done EVERY SINGLE THING in his power to change it.  If thats the case, Im guessing he isn't getting her off.  Thats my two cents. [/quote]

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