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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think mean is the wrong word. Stressed out, snotty, aloof, cliquey, yes. But bullying and mean, no. They simply don't have the time to exert much energy on bullying.[/quote]

I also think the "mean girl" thing is off base.  Its not the girls are meaner than at other schools, its that when a girl is mean the bystanders look away.  There is a complete lack of support for girls going through anything difficult.  I think that gets back to the competitiveness that is unnecessarily pumped up (increasing as the girls get older, which is why many of us have daughters who became unhappy as they got older).  When a girl stumbles its just an opening for the others to step over her.[/quote]

I think this is very true.  But t I think the dismissiveness is intentional and meant to hurt.  We do not give a s**t about you therefore you are meaningless.  It is just a different kind of unkindness.  Not a "you're  fat ugly and stupid" but more of a "you don't exist enough for us to care".

In fact, I once questioned my daughter about the treatment of one her friends and asked if the girls were mean she said they were dismissive.  But not mildly so.  Categorically dismissive as though the girl did not exist to them.  Pretty damaging I think.  And in this case, it was intentional.  Kind of like shunning on adolescent girl hormones.[/quote]

Some were shunned, some were dismissed, some were not living beings, some bullied, some abused.  There was a gamut of behavior and those bullied and abused were the ones who offended the packs.  There were 2 large packs when DD was there.  1 had the self appointed beauties who chased the bros from all schools plus some VIP to NCS parents.  The other had VIP to NCS moms in the group.  Each had parents who hosted large drinking parties and served to minors.  Same with a small group of STA parents.  Both groups were territorial over groups of boys.  [/quote]

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