Reply to Would you be okay with your daughter dating a boy from a different race?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP here, and I have to agree that this is the most depressing thread I have read on this site- well besides the one about babies being left in the car but still...

13 pages for a question that I thought was outdated and a no-brainer... yikes!

to the AA moms, I appreciate your point of view and I have found your posts eye opening.  They are also extremely disheartening as a single women (For real, trying to meet a decent man is not always easy, why would I limit my pool based on race?) Even though these posts (and many others on this thread!) make me sad, you are being honest about your feelings and I have to respect that.

But in general to everyone who said they would be disappointed if their child fell in love outside their race- hopefully you will ALL be getting your comeuppance soon enough :) [/quote]

Black mom here. Let me say this: if a black man wants to date you, nothing I (or any black person) say will change their desires. Nothing. My feelings on this issue should not affect you; just like the white folks on this thread who've said they wouldn't exactly welcome a black SIL/DIL doesn't affect me.

I'm starting to think this is more about outrage that someone would dare "reject" white people. [/quote]

I am the poster you quoted, and I am kinda wondering why anyone needs to be rejected? I am in by no means outraged by your posts, because if I did choose to marry a AA man, I wouldn't assume his family thinks of me the way your posts describe-because everyone is different and hopefully not all AA families would share your view of me. But your post and the posts from the other side give me pause about where we are at as a country, when before I would have naively thought I could be accepted into any family...

my point is- the same feeling you have about your son not being accepted by a white family, when you feel the same way about a white girl in coming into yours- that breaks my heart for me, your son, and all the other children whose parents can't see past color of skin to see that person...[/quote]

It's not really about rejection, but rather, a preference. Don't we all have a preference on the type of people we'd date? Don't some men prefer blondes? Don't some women prefer tall men? Are these things inherently wrong or discriminatory?

I will say this to you: don't assume that a black family will tell you their true feelings on your IR union. Family is very important to me and I'd never say something that would risk alienating my son. His white wife would never know I had these feelings and all of my interactions with her would have her believing that she is truly accepted and welcomed into the family. At that point, what's done is done, so no used crying over spilled milk. [/quote]

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