Reply to Is it normal for sibling not to tell you they are having a baby?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Here’s normal behavior -
 “Hey sis who I text weekly, I’m expecting a baby in four months. We kept it quiet in the first trimester and I’m still kind of spooked so I’m not really up for discussing medical stuff and mom war stories, and we’re not talking about it on social media. Hope you understand”. Sibling: “Congratulations! Can’t wait to meet the baby. I’m here if you need anything”. Sibling keeps mouth shut.

That’s not revealing “medical information”. It’s normal family interaction. If the relationship was bad, wouldn’t have been regular texts. [b]It is insulting to the sibling not to tell about the baby until after the birth[/b], although pregnant person does not owe anyone the blast on 
“I’m in labor now!” That can wait until the baby arrives.

I continue to be astonished at how many people were seemingly raised by wolves and have their heads up their behinds about how they are the only people in the universe and everyone else is just a supporting character in their personal drama.

Coworker not saying anything is a little weird, but it’s fine. [/quote]

Describe why you would be insulted. Explain how this is insulting to you personally. [/quote]

DP but haven't you seen all the posts here indicating that if the sister didn't tell the OP, it's probably because OP is unsupportive or has done something wrong? [/quote]

I agree with several posters saying it would be cause for concern or raised awareness. The relationship could be under heightened examination. That sounds reasonable.

I don’t understand the immediate reaction to be hurt and personally insulted. [/quote]

Right. If one of my sisters announced a birth, out of the blue, I'd be flabbergasted, but my immediate reaction would be intense concern. I'm asking "are you okay? Is baby okay? What can I do? I love you"[/quote]

Same - I too would be surprised but wouldn’t make a thing out of that. It isn’t about me. It’s about a baby and a new mom, hopefully both healthy.[/quote]

In fairness, OP's post expresses confusion more than anything else.  I too would be confused because this would be unusual in my family- it's one thing to wait until several months in to tell people, particularly if there is a history of loss, it's another for this never to come up during regular communication until the baby is born.  WHile it sounds like this is very family dependent and this would be normal in some families, if it's outside the norm I would tread carefully because clearly there is a reason they didn't share earlier.  I would send them some meals / gift cards but probably wait for an invitation to visit to to as not bring germs or overstep boundaries.[/quote]

OP here. Thank you. Yes, confusion is the best way to describe my thoughts on this. I am so confused why they waited until the baby was born, and then informed me on that very day. Like “surprise!”. And then they expected me to be happy? I would have preferred if they waited a few weeks after the birth to inform me, because now I think my reaction put a damper on their day. But what did they really expect? [b]I think it’s a form of narcissism on their parts and an attempt to somehow be more interesting, quirky, or whatever than they actually are.[/b] But yes, I am very much confused by it all. [/quote]

Yeah, I really wonder what your dynamic is like with your sibling if you say something like this. It sounds like there's underlying resentment or distrust.

I mean, it's valid to feel confused by not knowing about her baby, but it's another thing to let it become a moral judgment. You're attacking her character instead of addressing the behavior (you left the chat,  apparently?). [/quote]

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