Reply to Tension with Wife's Family over Finances

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
There's something off with you. This is not how normal people think or talk.[/quote]

That much is clear. I suspect OP is high-functioning autistic and just does not understand how other people can live by different values.

OP should pay his fair share of expenses when he spends time with in-laws. If the suggested trips are too expensive, OP can politely decline and tell them they're too expensive. The whole "my parents are subsidizing my in-laws" premise doesn't hold up. OP's family rules apply only when OP is interacting with his own family. When he's interacting with the outside world (including in-laws), he needs to pay his own way. Personally, this is easy for me to understand. I don't know why OP has such a hard time with it, but that's why I suspect he's on the spectrum - he's displaying a highly recognizable rigid mentality that is associated with autism.

[/quote]

The thing about arguments by people on the spectrum is that they are usually logical and rational.  OP's family is in effect subsidizing his rich in-laws if OP has to pay back his nonworking wife's student loan, especially if OP is relying on family money to live during his residency, which it kind of sounds like may be the case.   Now, he has already shut down the "loan" repayment nonsense, and rightfully so.  [/quote]

PP you replied to. The loan thing was ridic, so I agree that he was right to put his foot down. But for current expenses, I think his FIL is right to not pay for the entire family group when they go on vacation. OP shouldn't complain about having to pay for his share of restaurant meals and hotel rooms and such.
[/quote]

Agree. Maybe OP thought he was gold-digging, and only learned after marriage that the FIL is not interested in sharing. [/quote]

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