Reply to Son only cousin excluded from nephew's wedding

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, the youngest of your son’s cousins, at 16+, is now looking at colleges and developing skills that will lead to their independence as a young adult. Your son, in your own words, would apparently need a baby sitter in order to spend a few hours alone while you attend a nearby wedding.  
While you might hope that the cousins would be close, brief interactions with each other at a wedding are probably not the most effective way to accomplish this.

I’d be curious to know what else you’ve done to support these relationships that you hope will develop over time — despite the older cousins being at very different developmental and life stages from your son.  Do many of them live nearby? Is your home the “fun” house for holidays, cookouts, and family celebrations?  If not, then it’s on you to maintain positive relationships with all of the cousins, in the hope that by the time your son is an adult— midway in age between his cousins and their children, he has the foundation that you’ve established in the extended family to develop independent relationships with his much older cousins.

tldr: Yes, you’re overreacting. You also don’t seem to have thought about what this experience will be like for your son — if you push to have him included in an activity planned for adults. Trying to use what should be a delightful gift to convey resentment might not effectively communicate what you’d like it to. It also won’t facilitate your goal of creating positive bonds with extended family members for your son. Note that I don’t think you needs to give an expensive gift — but if your gift is expected to convey your resentment and how offended you feel, this is not likely to support positive relationships between your son and his much older cousins. Instead, he’ll be not just the little kid — but the little kid with the  messy, resentful mom. [/quote]

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