Reply to DW doesn’t want my mother to move in with us.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You need to solemnly swear to your wife that [b]if[/b] your mother moves in, you will be solely responsible for the caregiving and you won’t expect her to lift a finger.[/quote] and then follow through. Promises mean nothing without the action to back them up. In my family of origin it would be all promises and all lies. [/quote]

These "promises" never work. There are only a few men who'd be willing and able to take care of their mother. Did he participate in childrearing, like hands on, cleaning and cooking, organizing activities, going to doctors? If no, they're not going to do it now. My DH was inviting his mom and brother to stay at the beginning of our marriage (at different times), and then promptly took off to office as he had "so much work". I was literally stuck with them, because it felt unpolite to also take off. We women are stupid. After having to clean, cook and entertain as a proper host, I now simply refuse any and all of his "guests". I said that I'd take off for the days he invites, and I totally would. Btw his brother still raves about the winery tour I organized over 10 years later. [/quote]

When my parents needed caring, I just quit work. I was unmarried and felt that family should come before money.[/quote]

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