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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Who are we protecting here? Sounds like it’s the kid who thought they had a competitive application but didn’t get admitted to an elite school. So, OP’s kid has to console them by suggesting that legacy tipped the scales for him? Wouldn’t that make the fragile kids even more resentful? I guess it’s a cope to “blame”the legacy parents. So stupid. [/quote]
This. If they’re friends, call them on their BS. A friend would be happy for you and even if they made a snide remark because of jealousy, they would know it if you called them on it. Don’t apologize for success to this passive aggressive nonsense.[/quote]

Since when is being aware of reality passive aggressive? It is not passive aggressive to recognize the reality of legacy preferences. It is simply fact.

Honestly I sometimes think legacy preference should go away only because the people who want it are so insufferable. You cannot demand that everyone pretend legacies don’t have an enormous advantage in admissions when there is so much hard data showing just how much advantage they get. You people sound like you would demand everyone in the world pretend the sky isn’t blue if understanding the sky is in fact blue would hurt your child’s feelings. [/quote]
Is it necessary to qualify it to a friends face. Assuming it’s factually the only reason, what’s the purpose of “you only got in cause your parents went there?”[/quote]

Facing reality? Why is acknowledging reality so offensive to you?[/quote]
So then would it be appropriate to say back that yeah “it’s a bummer your parents weren’t couldn’t help you.”

The reality is that a friend made a smug remark that many would construe as downplaying everything else the kid did to get there. It’s a moment thing, and if I felt a friend was making a dig, I’d call them on it because in reality, the intent was to hurt feelings or self soothe their own insecurity. Just comes off as a sore loser. [/quote]

You are so wildly defensive and entitled. It’s remarkable to see. Your demands that your child never, ever hear that he had a significant leg up in admissions by virtue of legacy admissions are quite something. Stating the truth of legacy admissions—something that is extremely well-documented by data at this point—is not “being a jerk” no matter how much you want to demand the world hide the truth from your child.

In any event, it would be fine (in fact, quite good) for your kid to acknowledge that he got in because of significant legacy preferences and then to express understanding and sympathy that the other child wasn’t born with the same lucky circumstances of birth. That would be far preferable than your child having a tantrum and demanding that everyone protect his ego by propping up a lie, which seems to be your approach. [/quote]

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