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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My son got into a top school EA. It was the school where dh and I attended. He is a top student in all respects, hard worker, great stats/rigor, leadership, community service, etc. And none of this was pushed/curated by us, he really drove it all (including applications), and we are really proud of him.

A couple of kids from school who got rejected said “oh but your parents went there” like that’s the only reason he got in. I know it helps that we did, of course, but his stats match the student population, it’s not like he was pulled up despite bad grades/scores. We aren’t big benefactors either, it’s not like the school would see big donations in our history.

So how to respond if someone says that? [/quote]

With curiosity and ask “what do you mean?”.  Let them clarify.  And if they are so as bold to say that’s the only reason just say it’s not the experience that every legacy who applies gets in automatically but if they’ve seen otherwise they would like to see it.

Someone that is in their feels to the extent they would be insulting to your face doesn't really need to be coddled. There are lots of different advantages a student can have at the end of the day, a competitive college won’t admit someone they don’t think can handle the work.[/quote]

So passive aggressive? You know what was meant and you know that the answer is, YES, we are grateful we had an advantage in the admissions system. It is the same thing as:

"I am going to Yale."

"Oh? Are you playing football there, too?"

"Yes!"

Everyone who is a party to that conversation AND who knows the kid is playing football there knows this kid got in bc of the sport. Are you upset that it is widely known or upset someone dares to say it to the kid's face? Because everyone is thinking it whether it is said or not. Doesn't mean the kid is inferior, just means the kid is going b/c he's hooked, just like someone from North Dakota or a rural area, a famous family, a legacy, in ROTC, etc.

It is far more impressive when unhooked kids are admitted to highly selective schools.  [/quote]
I’d separate many hooks like sports or instrument and ROTC because those are achieved through hard work not luck.[/quote]

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