Reply to Extreme resentment over mental load

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Extreme resentment over mental load "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] +1

I make almost 3 times what my husband does, and I know a number of other women in a similar position. We are all the default parents and carry the majority of the mental load.[/quote]

If these women are amenable to outsourcing gift wrapping and tree decorating and Christmas dinner preparing, they should.

I outsource what I don't want on my mental load. People resist this because they [i]want[/i] to wrap gifts. Not everyone does. But it is not uncommon.[/quote]

Or because they think about that money going toward retirement accounts or college funds.[/quote]

OR because they're unwilling to drop the nonessentials to preserve their sanity and resources. [b]Gift wrapping, tree decorating, Christmas dinner preparing... nothing stated in this thread is a need[/b]. [/quote]

Then what is a need?  If you don’t need these things you also could live without a sofa, never go on vacation and eat McDonald’s every night instead of a normal meal.

You sound like a man who takes advantage of female labor and your only defense is to claim it’s all unnecessary make work. As if kids don’t expect presents from Santa. [/quote]

TIL I'm finally a man!  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

[b]I am, interestingly enough, a person who has gone without a sofa, lived many long years without a vacation, and ate worse than McDonalds many nights. It probably continues to inform my perspective... Maybe it's easier to realize how nice things are because I went for many years without those niceties and I realize they're definitely not needs.[/b][/quote]

Were you a child when these things happened? And do you think that just because you survived those situations that that's the bar for how people should want to live or have their kids live?[/quote]

No, I don't think that's the bar for how people should want to live or have their kids live. But it IS livable. Between having less and having a stressed-out, probably drunk, "extremely resentful" parent and the tension that creates, I'd pick less. I would've picked less as a child, too. Less is easier to survive.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics