Reply to Private school is a terrible ROI for middle class people

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I regret sending my DD to private school that cost more than 60K a year.   We don't belong there.  We pull DD out at grade 11.  DD was there from grade 6 to 10.  [b]She sees how top 1% live and friendship cannot last long bc of life style[/b].  Entitled kids with different lifestyle and doesn't need to work.  [/quote]

the honesty is refreshing and the bolded is what too many middle class and even working class parents tend to ignore[/quote]

What I took away from this was a high level of insecurity from the kid, probably instilled by the parent. Most kids in my daughter’s private school don’t even consider the economic status of their friends. That’s just the parents unfortunately. [/quote]

Kids don't look at economic status until they are in high school.  The top 1% sticks together.  If you are in lower end, you don't get invite to these party as you get older.   Even if you get invited, you can't keep up with their lifestyle.  You can't fly your kid to Europe for holiday break.   It was great in middle school but as DD get older, it be apparent we don't belong there.  DD still connect with few kids at top tier private school.  Most of these kids go to private liberal art colleges where DD goes to well known public university.  DD was in culture shock to see how the rest of people live when  DD goes to public University.  DD was in a bubble. 60K plus private school is great if you can afford it but it is a bubble.[/quote]

Why can’t people be comfortable in their own skin? If you can’t take these lavish trips with your family, who is really auditing you on that? If you don’t want to compete…don’t, it’s a reflection of their insecurities anyway. Don’t let people infer keeping up with the joneses on you. Be confident about who you are and what your child is ultimately at the school for, to learn and grow.  You have nothing to prove or validate to anyone.[/quote]

Have you sent your kid to a 40-60K+ private K-12?!?!  By MS the kids are routinely taking expensive trips.  If your kid cannot participate, they quickly get shut out of being good friends with the other kids.  So if you send your kid to a school like that and 90%+ are taking the trips, then your kids actual close friend group is severely limited.  It's one of the reasons we kept our kids in our excellent public schools.  We didn't want them surrounded by only "wealthy" kids, and despite having the funds for it, I'm not sending my 14 yo on a 2 week trip to Europe with other kids group, if they go, we are doing it as a family (and maybe with another family with kids similar ages), but not just for the kids as xmas or spring break trip with other teens.

[/quote]

PP, can you take a deep cleansing breath and calm yourself? If you can do that, you will be able to process what I am relaying to you because I refuse to write it again. You are making foolish assumptions without firsthand knowledge or experience.

My DS is currently attending a school that you described. We are not at the financial level of many of the families there. It is not a secret that we do ok but we are not old money people. But if I tell you how my DS’ friends (and a few of their parents), classmates embrace and cherish him, it’s incredible. We raise him to humble himself, work hard, respect people and show up as his authentic self. That home training is paying off as he is a phenomenal kid and is essentially, a people magnet as quiet and shy as he is. This is what matters to us, NO ONE is flaunting trips or anything else about their lifestyle. He is NOT excluded when he doesn’t participate in every activity. It’s the opposite quite frankly.

This is our experience and I don’t deny that the scenarios you’ve illustrated happen. They do and maybe there is lower flexing among boys than girls. I don’t know, but this whole “wealthy kids” thing is not as widespread as you think. There are still many down to earth private school kids out there. You are putting too much pressure on yourself, just take it easy. Ok?[/quote]

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