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[quote=Anonymous] [/quote]

I believe you, OP. Covert narcissists and other pathological people often do things that look "okayish" or even fine on the surface, because they know most people won't care enough to look closer. On closer inspection, especially looking at patterns over time, it becomes clear that these people are dangerously dysfunctional, often to the point of abuse. They're hard to pin down; it's often impossible to "prove" they're being a dick. And that's the whole point. The jerk who punches you is obviously a jerk. The jerk who destabilizes your life and makes you walk on eggshells for years, then DARVOs like a pro and twists the narrative to make themselves look like the victim, is insidious, and far more dangerous to your health and well-being. If he were obviously, inarguably an asshat, you'd have left him long ago.

I know the type. Just know that you'll get through this and your life will be SO much better without his BS. I'm sorry he's power-tripping on the way out instead of collaborating like a partner, but that's the reason he's on the way out. In the end, you may thank him for making it so obvious. I did. Keep going, OP. One day at a time. You can do this.[/quote]

NP.  Thank you for the above.  I realized years after that I had been living with someone like this.  I was served when I was with my kids coming home after sports practice.  Now that we have left the post-separation abuse has started. [/quote]

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