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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He moved out, get an attorney and if he hasn't filed, file yourself.  Ask for full custody, child support, alimony and half of all assets.  Take 1/2 out of all joint accounts.  Change the locks on the house since he moved out.  You can look online in most states and see if he actually filed.

The only thing to discuss is a custody agreement.  You tell him that this is the schedule you want or ask him the schedule he wants and work it out.  Tell him you don't want him visiting the house and that he needs to set up a bedroom with clothing, etc. at his house.[/quote]

Also: multiple attorneys have recommended that I reach out to him in writing and suggest that with his attorney’s approval, we can work out temporary arrangements between ourselves regarding time in the homes and with our child. Otherwise it will come down to temporary orders.[/quote]

Yeah, this. You can either do it amicably, or have the court help you sort it. You shouldn't unilaterally withdraw funds or change locks, unless the title/lease is entirely in you name and he's been gone a reasonable amount of time. Even then... it's probably not worth the risk.

The better strategy is to ask, in writing, for a visitation schedule, including off-site pickup/dropoff, as that's in the best interest of your kid, and your kid's best interests need to be your priority now (in general, but definitely in writing).

"Dear (ex's name), In order to maintain a stable environment for (child's name), I'd appreciate it if you coordinate a trip to get whatever you may need from the house on a designated day, perhaps once a week (or month or whatever works for you). Please let me know your current availability for spending time with (child's name), and we can coordinate transferring items."

Send with a link to your county's custody forms, parenting plan, visitation agreement, etc. Fill out your part and a proposed schedule (you'll need all this eventually anyway). You'll need to get to the formal divorce paperwork eventually too, but the priority has to be stabilizing the chaos for your kid's sake. Make it easy. Trust me, it's worth it to look like the responsible parent who is considering the kid and not just whatever hot nonsense mr. filed-prematurely may have cooked up. [/quote]

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