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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Some of this came up in the other thread about why people want victims to just "get over it" and not cause awkwardness. OP what do you do for other people and their families? As someone asked whether you are "intense", think hard about that. In the best colleges you get really two sorts of people. You get most who have done great in high school and are cool people and come from excellent families and have built excellent records and know how to socialize and they go to their highly selective institution, find their people and fit in brilliantly. They do so because they know what it means to be successful, they know how to talk to people and how to be low-key and relaxed and not make things weird or awkward.

Then you get the strivers. The dishwasher's kid on Pell grants, the scholarship kid from the inner city, the farm kid from the sticks who has never distinguished between a dinner and salad fork in his life. If you're hot or a good athlete you'll be OK, people from the first group will take you under their wing and let your looks or sports skills carry you while you figure out how to behave.

But if not, if you're just intense and determined and a striver and all that, you're just going to turn people off. You won't know that you're being judged in every class session, cafeteria meal and trip to the library. You won't know that your JC Penney jeans and your parents flannel shirts pegged you as a loser the moment you walked onto campus. You won't realize that no, your whole family doesn't need to bring you to your first day in college. You won't realize that no, you don't go standing up for someone just because they've been "mistreated" or "bullied" because that can boomerang onto YOU. You're too intense, you don't act like you've been there, you think every stupid conversation or moral choice matters.

So who are you? Are you the person who would make a scene, push some cause just because it's "right"? Why do you want to make people think you're somehow better than them? Why do you think it matters? Just chill already and smoke a joint or have a drink. Be fun. Don't tell us about children in Africa. Thanks.[/quote]

Well this PP is obviously still in college. Some of us understand the world beyond college. I'll read your future, PP: one day you will take your daughter to the ER for a gash or a high fever. She's about four or five, born to a former GF, a fling really, a woman not of your stature. After ghosting her for 9 months, you got the surprise of your life in the form of papers served. And at your new GF's place no less, the one you were thinking you might marry.

You're nervous because you don't know your DD's insurance info; her mother has that. You've texted her a few times but she's blocked you: it''s her girls weekend, you get the kid. Be a man for a change, she said.

Your hair is a bit too long, in a way that was once cool but now just looks neglected. While you waited in the emergency room you pushed your dirty hair across your forehead with your palm, hair between your fingers,  in a practiced, distracted gesture that was once considered casually attractive. Now it's just weird. The nurse pretended she didn't even look at you as she lead you and your DD back to the exam room.

When the doctor comes into the room you ready to shake his hand by wiping your sweaty hand on your cordoroys, the ones that looked like casual wealth when you were young but now look sadly out of date, with shiny marks on the thighs from all the nervous wiping. You read the doctor's name tag -- upper class men know to call the doctor by his name right away, to show you're on equal footing -- and holy crap, it's the thriver from college. The one who had no time for socializing, who just studied day and night, all the way through college and into med school. And here he is, head of the pediatric department, those JCPenney jeans a distant memory. He looks at your as if you don't ring a bell, but pretends he remembers you by making pretend-personal chit chat: he goes boating on the weekends; he already has children in college, while you have "just the one." He nods, says, "Well, the nurse practitioner will come in to see you shortly" -- wtf, it's already been 45 minutes -- tugs on your DD's foot, smiles at her and leaves.

Your daughter is sitting on the exam table. You're never sure what she is thinking. But you're pretty sure she's on to you. You have the paranoid feeling she understands that you are a nobody compared to the doctor, the "striver." She will come to learn that a little striving never hurt anyone. In fact, it's how people get ahead in life. She will have you as her shining example of how not to squander all of life's advantages by not striving. She will be fine. 
[/quote]

Cringe. Get a freaking life.[/quote]

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