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General Parenting Discussion
Reply to "Why are so many parents fumbling raising boys? "
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[quote=Anonymous]OP - I’m curious what you think is wrong with boys at the societal level that is different than 10 or 20 or 30 years ago? I have two boys (18 & 15). Every generation raises their children different than the generation before. We correct the things we think our parents got wrong but screw up in different ways. I’m Gen X. My parents were barely around. All the Gen X feral kids memes pretty much sum up my early life. My parents did not encourage me to do any sports or join any clubs. They were drunk most nights and my siblings and I fed ourselves, cleaned up after ourselves, got ourselves to school, etc. My parenting styles – when they were young, I valued classic education, and I was probably a bit of a helicopter parent mixed with Tiger mom. They took violin lessons for 3 years. They played soccer and swam. Took gymnastics. Pushed them to get As and study hard with summer math worksheets and science camps and and and… They got burned out. I got burned out. I stopped pushing hard and stopped being a helicopter parent/Tiger mom when the oldest was 8. I let them take the lead. No more forcing sports – just advocating that they move their body. No more pressuring them on homework or summer “fun” work. We got involved with scouting as a way for them to have some structure / direction. We aren’t religious but scouting was good way to get involved in the community and learn about the value of service. Unplugging one weekend a month to hike and fish and camp with their scouting friends. My oldest said he wishes that I pushed him in sports. I reminded him that I always encouraged / offered, but did not push because I did not want him to resent me or hate the sport. Can’t win… Looking at my sons, I cannot say there is anything seriously wrong with them. Oldest is headed to college in a degree he is interested in. Nice girlfriend that he respects – and they are both supportive of each other. Neither of my sons exhibit “toxic masculinity” – but neither will shy away from standing up for what is right. They respect girls but don’t expect girls to like them because they are nice, nor expect to be waited on. [/quote]
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