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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Typical Stuy kid is a poor Asian immigrant who spent two years non-stop studying for the SHSAT as it is their ticket out. Most of these kids have minimal mainstream American people skills - they have not assimilated. And some of them aren’t really that smart - just good at that one test.

Many end up at SUNY/CUNY. Many of these would be eligible for tons of aid at Ivies but for some reason don’t apply.

Bronx Science has more Nobel laureates and is a slightly more normal version of Stuy. Kids are more normal and slightly more relaxed. Though there is a contingent of the immigrant kids who are viewed as failures for not getting into Stuy.[/quote]

What’s your evidence that Stuy kids lack social skills? I’ve met plenty who are terrific talented kids.  I wouldn’t put much credence in the viewpoint from an Internet rando who traffics in Asian stereotypes.  [/quote]

First of all, I said "most," "typical," etc. It is a huge school. I am not dumb enough to think all kids are like this. But a significant number are. There definitely are lots of great, fun, social, interesting kids there. But the presence of the other type is overwhelming.

I live in NYC. I seriously considered Stuy for my child. My child knows many kids who go there (and many who chose not to go there). I work near Stuy and see the kids every day (and as the parent of teenagers I know "normal behavior."). My child has many Asian friends who did not want to go to Stuy for the reasons I cited.

Stereotypes exist for a reason - there is a basis in truth. I agree that one must be very careful not to apply stereotypes, especially negative ones, to every member of a group when you first meet them.[/quote]

Stuy parent here.
When I mentioned to the PTA president that a family member ran an etiquette program for children in a major city, the PTA president, who is Chinese, asked me with big hopeful eyes if my family member could come to Stuy and run some courses on social skills.
As a Chinese person myself, I have to agree that many FOB Chinese lack social skills and that sure doesn't help their kids who are othered every single day of their life as an immigrant. 
The only Chinese etiquette that is socially enforced is deference to elders. 
Maintaining 'face' is so important that it trumps introspection and self awareness.[/quote]

Manners and etiquette are cultural.

[b]Taking off your shoes when you enter a home.  That is manners.
How you hold your rice bowl and how you rest your chopsticks is manners too.
How you drink alcohol has a lot of etiquette surrounding it.[/b]
The[i] honorifics [/i]used for different family members, friends, teachers, schoolmates, fellow alumni, etc are also etiquette.
Just because you don't know western etiquette doesn't mean you have no manners.[/quote]

Most of the above are not relevant in an US-centric professional context. So irrelevant for your kids success.....and some might hurt your kid (too much deference means your kid will be subject to a lifetime of 2nd tier low status roles).....[/quote]

tell me you've never worked at FAANG without telling me you've never worked at FAANG.  .. or in medicine or law. [/quote]

Basic American etiquette is key for banking, law, consulting. Most non-engineering corporate jobs. And medicine to some extent - I live in NYC where I don’t have to worry about a doctors diagnostic/surgical abilities so I can differentiate on people skills. Which has led me to a number of well-assimilated Asian-American doctors who got the joke.

Most kids at SHSAT schools did some prepping. There are a number who devote their whole lives to it. And some who do almost none. You can usually easily differentiate those who are “test smart” from those who are all-around smart.[/quote]

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