Reply to My kid witnessed another playdate - awkward

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I read all the replies and appreciate them but [b]genuinely don't feel I was out of line.[/b] When people can be so exclusive why not push for inclusivity? I did appreciate that the parent replied to my text. I wanted to be transparent about how it made my child feel so next time there might be a bit more self-reflection. I understand not every child is invited to each playdate,  but if the opportunity arises, why not extend the offer to one more kid instead of simply changing the subject? My child clearly wanted to play. The mom in question has a large home and could have accommodated the extra child and I would have been happy to reciprocate next time. It was just an awkward situation which could have been made kinder by inclusivity. [/quote]

The bolded attitude will spell misery for you and your poor daughter going forward. You don't make the rules in other people's lives.  Can you understand that every person is different with different bandwidths? Maybe it's no big deal to you, to add an extra child. But it is to her, and YOU SHOULD RESPECT THAT, because it's her invite and her house.

[b]If I received the text you sent, I would have felt mortified... for you. And I would have been just as polite and urbane as this other mother. But don't make the mistake of believing that just because adults around you stay polite, you haven't raised a host of social red flags on yourself. You came off as whiny and childish.[/b]

No one owes you an apology. You were the social boor in this situation. Also, you are not allowed to pretext "inclusivity" to angle for an invite! The only time being inclusive is socially acceptable is when you work to include others - not yourself or your children. I can't believe you don't realize this. The next time you plan a get-together with your friends, or your child's friends, I'm sure you'd be unpleasantly surprised if someone used that concept to invite themselves over: you'd probably think they were extremely rude, and you'd be right.

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Honestly this is how I would feel and act towards OP as well. I would be polite to OP and her daughter but I would quickly distance ourselves from them. 
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This is why socializing with these types of people is so very gross. They are never truthful or authentic, but judge their @sses off. And what they need from people like OP is the constant striving to please, feeling off kilter and putting a premium of belonging to a clique that doesn't value them. If you just opt out of the climbing/pleasing role, you and your kid will be much happier. Jesus - leave middle school behind and prevent it for your kid![/quote]

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