Reply to Adolescence on Netflix

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's good and very affecting. I don't have a tween boy but I do have a tween girl and it did make me think about parenting quite a bit.

I feel like my primary takeaway is that parents need to be aware of how badly children need their families, and especially their parents, to give them a sense of belonging and worth. The bullying and the social media and the crap school environment and toxic masculinity are part of this particular story too, but what I really took away from it is the idea that human beings desperately need the security of knowing they are loved, wanted, and valued. And kids can really only get that from their families. Maybe once in a blue moon someone can provide that to a child outside of the family environment, but I think even in that situation, if the child isn't feeling that love and belonging from their family, those feelings of worthlessness will creep in and that's how you lose kids to all the rest of it.

I think the story hits home because in this case, the child developed those feelings of worthlessness and winds up externalizing them. I agree he winds up with a personality disorder and, as other posters have pointed out, he simple does not have the capacity to feel empathy or shame, instead just lies and blames to escape any feeling of responsibility (though the final development indicates maybe that changes).

But not all kids are going to externalize it. For some kids maybe it become self harm. Or maybe some kids are better at masking and coping and it just becomes persistent low self esteem and impacts their ability to socialize, their resilience as people. They may never hurt someone else the way Jaime does, and they may never hurt themselves in a way that is visible to others, but they may *hurt* because that wound of feeling like you have no worth, no sense of belonging, never goes away.

Anyway. Take some time to make sure your kid knows they have a place in your home, that you love them for them, that they have value as people regardless of how they perform at school or sports or whatever. That they belong. It's as important as making sure they eat and go to school. It's essential.[/quote]m

This is a strange take. The show took great strides to show that the boy had a stable family life.  There were many scenes, like the 10 minute car ride in episode four, showing how connected and loving the parents were. The point of this actually seemed to be that despite having a stable loving family life, children can end up with trauma of one kind or another. Which is true.

In adolescence, your peers and life at school become more important and impactful than your family life.  Of course having a loving family is always important, but your peers have a greater impact on your overall well-being in adolescence (esp late teens) than your family, as a general rule.  [/quote]

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