Reply to What has a lack of sex done to you?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Having the one person that you’re only supposed to have sex with not want to have sex with you hurts, it just does not matter the reason. [/quote]

I agree. It’s basically impossible for me to feel attractive. [/quote]

Good way to put it.

I tried for a long time (years).  I was told it was because of X or y so I did x and y.

When I was successful I was giving and not receiving and last time I tried he couldn’t finish.  Whenever I tried it wasn’t good anyway so there’s that.

When my spouse comes home and vents about work I am meant to just listen, not ask questions or give advice (even when asked) and NOT talk about my work or my day.

It is really demoralizing and you feel bad about yourself.  I have a lack of self confidence I never had before. I am very lonely but feel I can’t talk about it with anyone.  We have a high deductible insurance so therapy would be out of pocket and expensive.

I try to kiss him and he turns his head.  Won’t even hug me.  Our kids notice.

I put on some weight because of the stress.  My husband also recently showed me a picture from 5 years ago and remarked how young I looked and that I look so old now.  I have more anxiety than ever too.

I talked to one close friend and she told me he’s a good father and that if I divorced him he’d find someone new right away and I would not see my kids 50% of the time and another woman would help raise them. My husband is gorgeous which she also told me
I would never get anyone close to that good looking and he would have his pick.  Very hurtful coming from a close friend, but I appreciated the honesty.  She told me to suck it up.

I also worry because we would have to sell the house to divorce and I did slow my career for his career and our kids.  I started climbing the ladder again but I work in non profits so will probably have to change careers.

[/quote]

If your husband is gorgeous then I don’t blame him for turning you down. It’s hard to be attracted to a fat woman. Stress is not a valid reason to gain weight…. learn how to manage stress. I have a feeling the weight you gained is more than “some”.

Btw you should hold on to and cherish the friend who gave you an Honest answer. Friends like that are hard to come by. Many friends will tell you what you want to hear and Not what you need to hear.[/quote]

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