Reply to Is my wife being unrealistic about her expectations of my work life balance?

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Reply to "Is my wife being unrealistic about her expectations of my work life balance?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You have a 3 month old. Which means your wife is working basically 24 hours a day and is exhausted all the time.[b] “I helped out” tells me that you don’t feel full ownership of the situation with the kids and the house[/b], and that’s what she’s reacting to.

The snow day thing may seem unreasonable, but she’s reacting to this: there was a family disruption and her day got 1000% harder and your day stayed basically the same. Ask yourself how often that happens.

You not ending work at a consistent time shows you’re prioritizing yourself over your wife and your kid - regularly. As someone with a big fancy job who was there to pick up my kids on time 100% of the time, I know it’s possible to end work on time consistently. You just say “oops gotta run Fred - kid pickup time! Call you tomorrow!”

Also, ask yourself how much harder your life has gotten when the second kid came 3 months ago. Your wife’s life got a lot harder. Are you doing at least 50% of the household chores - including keeping track of all of the crap that goes into that? From your post, doesn’t sound like it.

Your wife is feeling resentful. I recommend caring that she feels that way. [/quote]

Why should he? He's working, she's on maternity leave. When my husband went back to work and I was still home with our twins I moved to the guest room to sleep so he could get a solid night of sleep since he had to go to work all day. Of course I was tired by the time he came home and he did then pick up and take over with the kids/dogs/house, but I was aware of the fact that he hadn't been sitting at a spa all day. [/quote]

He should feel full ownership because they are his children and it’s his house. And not caring that your wife is stressed caring for a newborn is not exactly the route to marital bliss. [/quote]

You're missing the point. My husband is just as responsible for our kids and our house and our dogs as I am. However, if he's busy with work, I step up. If I'm busy with work, he steps up. If one of us is sick, or gone, or whatever, the other one fills in. But OP is currently working a new job full time and his wife is on maternity leave. She's more responsible for the kids and the house right now because she is not working. Her job is literally to take care of the kids and the house. Why should she not be doing that for 8-10 hours a day by herself while OP is working his job 8-10 hours a day by himself?[/quote]

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