Reply to Neil Gaiman article in Vulture

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Didn’t read this whole thread, but the first woman in the article sounds like she consented  (who takes a bath in a garden?) and she’s telling the gross details for shock value snd sympathy.  Why would she continue to babysit if he was abusing her?  Her story makes zero GD sense.[/quote]

I think it all sounds mostly-consensual.  But also awful, despicable, and involving his child is over the line.[/quote]

Sure I mean he’s gross, but “accusations” of being a “predator” seem to be what’s really over the line.  Honestly I’m sick of grown women being infantilized like this.  If your gross employer asks you to take a bath with him it’s time to get the hell out of there.

(Plus he sucks as a writer.  Never understood his appeal.)[/quote]

Women who are being harassed at work are not infants. That's ridiculous. There's a power dynamic between employer and employee.

I was in my 30s as a working highly educated professional woman. A man I was working on a contract with met me for coffee in public to work. He then started insisting I go to his house and wait for him to take a shower. I said no. Obviously I didn't get any more work with him.

Now I realize how wrong it was that I dealt with so much, put up with so much, walked away unscathed numerous times. Sometimes friends of mine who were lawyers told me to quit a job before it got to the point I would have a case, because they cared about me. [/quote]

I’m sorry you don’t understand what “infantilization” means.  No shit to the rest of your post; but the solution to workplace harassment isn’t to say “yes” to a bath together, “no” to fingers in your butt, show up to work for the next day, and years later, call a journalist (instead of calling the police when whatever assault you’re claiming occurred actually happened).[/quote]

It's called shock. Very few victims immediately call the police. It's usually a family member or supportive friend, dynamics these victims didn't have (and may have been specifically selected for not having). I know you'd like to psychologically distance yourself from the awfulness of it by pretending you would've done differently and these people screwed up in ways you wouldn't have, but the reality of sexual trauma is that it often takes multiple rounds before reports are made, if they're ever made at all. The shock, the shame, and the knowledge that most people will be as dismissive of the experience as you're being here are all obstacles to reports.

Of course, we all know that even reported incidents regularly go unprosecuted, justice is extremely rare, and even convictions don't impede men's career trajectories. [/quote]

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